Jamie Oliver vs. Me

I swear, I know who the White Stripes are!

What would happen if we asked Jamie Oliver about music? Maybe something like this:

JAMIE OLIVER: Hiya. How are you doing, dah-lin’?
THE MODERN AGE: Fine. Hey- what are you listening to?
JO: Em… Coldplay.
TMA: Oh I love Coldplay!
JO: ::nods::
TMA: Do you like The Strokes?
JO: Yup. Listen to them. They’re great.
TMA: Yeah. They’re awesome. What about The White Stripes?
JO: ::hesitates:: …The…? ::shakes head, not understanding::

TMA: The White Stripes?

JO: I don’t think I know them…
TMA: Oh really?

JO: OH WAIT! Yes, I DO know them! I have their album ::mild satisfaction::.
TMA: Really?
JO: Yeah.
TMA: Which album?
JO: ….emm…. uh…. ::thinks really hard:: The one with the- … face ::draws a “face” in the air::
TMA: ::thinks:: That’s not a White Stripes album!
JO: No really, I have it!
TMA: ::skeptical:: Are you sure it’s not some other band???
JO: No, it’s them.
TMA: ::still skeptical:: Um… maybe it’s White Blood Cells???
JO: Yeah, that must be it.
TMA: Ok- sure. Whatever.

Later, TMA realizes that Sir Oliver might have been talking about the “Fell in Love with a Girl” single released on XL in the UK. Ok, so maybe he owns a White Stripes release, BUT IT’S STILL NOT AN ALBUM! TMA decides to still take 100 points away from him… and 50 more because he brought up how he had the album when he really didn’t know what he was talking about.

HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING, JAMIE OLIVER WOULD LOSE HIS “CRED”!

And on that note… this chick thinks Jamie Oliver is so her bitch. That’s kinda frightening. You can take your aggression out by punching Jamie in the face.

Never Mind the Buzzcocks Comes to America

In the great tradition of Americans taking British game shows and messing them up, VH-1 goes ahead and takes over “Never Mind The Buzzcocks.” Um… I hardly found this funny on British tele… Will this work? I dunno. The 411:

VH-1 and the producers of Pop-Up Video invite you to a brand new series:
NEVER MIND THE BUZZCOCKS
Featuring your favorite comedians, musicians, actors and athletes!
Show Dates: February 8th – 27th
Show Times: Weeknights at 6:30pm. Suggested arrival time is 5pm.
Chelsea Studios, 221 West 26th Street between 7th and 8th Avenues
To RSVP, you must call 212-784-7774
No one under 18 will be admitted!

The Beta Band (that’s BEE-tah, not BAY-ta) is shaping up to be the most gimmicky band in the UK. Watch Matt Macdonald spray paint for the Be. You can also wear some Star Wars “fancy dress” to that, if you’d like.

…but Cornershop might one-up them by aiming for the Guinness Book of World Records for “Longest Remix.” *Sigh*

The Strokes Will Be on SNL

The beauty sale at work was crazy. People were shopping in other people’s offices. Totally wrong!

Anyhoo- since the cat is already out of the bag- The Strokes on Saturday Night Live January 19, 2002.

And since this weekend will probably be dubbed the “I love Adam Green Weekend,” let’s have a look at an article from Long Island about the Moldys… from Newsday.<

Ryan Adams: So Uncool He’s Cool

Ryan Adams on Leno right now. He’s wearing sunglasses indoors… who does he think he is? Elton John? Oh wait…

Too many American flags. Dweeb. (When was the last time you used that word? Great word!)

Oh shit.. he ISN’T? Is he? Oh he IS. He’s wearing a Bruce Springsteen t-shirt.

AHAHAHAhaha. Leno struts over to the stage- Adams looks like a kid who just killed a bunny on Easter. He’s giddy. Leno grabs Adams’ right hand and squeezes it and says, “Thank you!” Adams screams out, “OWW!!!” Then we remember, Ryan Adams broke his hand mysteriously falling down some steps… or like it has previously been suggested on this page, it was broken in a failed attempt to dislodge the big stick up his *ahem*.

Leno giggles his stupid Leno giggle and as they fade to commercial, the faint sounds of “We love you Ryan…” can be heard, subtly, but surely inducing vomiting across the country… although the vomiting will be staggered for a few hours for our Central/Pacific friends.

Now they are talking to Adams. He’s still wearing the shades from the ’70s, he seems drunk. Why are they talking for so long? He’s telling about how he never has time to resole his shoes and that’s the reason why he made like a dumba** and broke his hand.

The girls just screamed for Adams again. They will be put to death by my special “phazer.”

You need some Sigur Ros right now to balance out all that Adams talk. Sorry.

Jenn just told me, at the JJ72 show tonight, The Sheila Devine opened and came on stage and said, “Hi, we’re The Sheila Divine and we know The Strokes.” ::rolls eyes::

I’m giving up. Ryan Adams is so uncool, he’s cool now. I enjoy the idiocy. I’m going to the other side. Can’t fight any more. Just too tired.

Blast! Blast! Blast!

I taped That ’70s Show instead of Undeclared. Blast.

Ryan Adams on Leno, Goldfrapp on Conan.

I just saw Much Ado About Nothing for my Shakespeare class. It was this ’60s- Austin Powers, The Avengers, James Bond swingin’ sort of thing. It was hard to watch a dark-haired heavyset man play Benedict. Oh my Kenneth Branaugh. Oh my Kenneth!

I bored this poor girl Rebecca by telling her all about my Paul Rudd adventures.

On the web-surfing end… I thought this Blah blah blog site looks lovely and Tiny Mix Tapes has great taste in music. Check out Tamec’s current playlist- sportin’ The Strokes and D Plan. Rock on man! Also, the November 22nd entry had me laughing… they write:

The Strokes? They were so Feb ’01 – Oct ’01

Yes, the hype is beginning to fade for the NY-based punk rockers The Strokes. It was a good run while it lasted, though — it even remained fairly strong during the Sept 11th attacks.

Also, take your pick in the poll on the lower right-hand side…. The Strokes, “amazing,” “pretty good,” or “over-hyped”? Currently winning out? “Over-hyped”…. and don’t you just love this guide to making the perfect mix tape? But my only question is… is this dude’s name REALLY Jack Tripper? Like from Three’s Company?

Inspired by The Strokes message board… What do YOU smell like? I smell like… “Refreshing Garden Mint.” Sniff and let me know.

And hey- I have no clue what any of this says, but this Andres Lokka dude’s got a picture at the Ed Harcourt show and has bought (at least I think that’s what that column is…) Starsailor, Spiritualized, The KOC, The Moldys, The Strokes, The Dirtbombs, Basement Jaxx, Air, South, Turin Brakes, etc. (there are too many good things to list) …. and that’s enough for me. ::makes wild “cowabunga, man!” gesticulations:: Awesome!

Unrelated… SIDA is the Spanish and French way of saying AIDS.