This Past Week In a Few Paragraphs

The week that was started off last Thursday at Le Prom de Ultragrrrl thrown by SPIN (see right). Stepping inside Rothko, we instantly felt like we stepped into indie prom heaven. Boys in penquin suits and ladies in fancy dress. The Killers provided live music, all the while decked out in formal attire. It was awesome.

Mine, all mine

Let us note that Rothko has like no ventilation system whatsoever. Because of that, everyone ran outside as soon as The Killers played their last note. 45 minutes after we stepped outside we were thrown on top of a car and molested, had our ass grabbed, and had our ass kicked. This is what happens when you let friends drink vodka.

Friday it rained like a motherfucker. Just complete downpour which thrwarted plans to go see Farenheit 9/11. Instead watched Unhook the Stars and One Night In Paris. One Night In Paris was absolutely wretched. The dude, what’s his name? Rick Soloman? He does commentary before each of the four segments on the DVD. He’s all like, “Oh in this one Paris is real shy because it was our first time filming”, blabhalbhalbah. What an asshole! Paris darling, why you keep pickin’ up trash? (See Nick Carter.)

Saturday while eating brunch we gawked over the prettiest boy in a New York band then tried to see Farenheit 9/11 again. Unsuccessfully. We walked over 100 blocks and then we went to MisShapes for Karen’s Birthday/Open bar/Killers listening party. The moral of Saturday evening was don’t let us drink vodka, even if we look really cute doing it.

Sunday we finally saw Farenheit 9/11. Our “President” is a fucking moron. Later we watched the worst movie to come out last year, Love Actually. Who let that piece of crap get produced? Dear lord, it was awful!

Monday we saw Surefire headline Mercury Lounge, which was totally awesome. There were totally groupies up in the front. It was totally rad.

Last night we saw The Streets and Dizzee Rascal. We have no fucking clue about anything Dizzee Rascal said but it was fun. The Streets were superfly, and the last song of the encore was “Don’t Mug Yourself”. Mikey threw raw vegetables at the audience. Hooray.

Total Buzz

how do you start this?

This weekend was beyond supreme. The level of hottness skyrocketed. We got to meet Whatevs in the live flesh. Holy moley, so best! We also got to meet the lovely Lindsay and TMFTML. Brian I Keep A Diary was also there, and there was a late apperance made by L.Spiers. No one watched the Jessica Simpson/Nick Lacey SNL like they were supposed to. The party turned into a giant speakeasy for bloggers. You were asked at the door what your blog was, and then based on that entry was allowed. It was fucking sickly retarded.

There were these awesome European people we talked to, Fred and Eric (???). Best moment of 2004 was when Fred, the Swedish guy, took Ultra‘s knitting needles and yarn, looked up and said “How do you start this?” Ultra then instructed him on the art of knitting (see above). Second best moment was Lindsay telling the “Maybe she was raped by a boat” story involving Frankie Real World San Fran’s fear of boats and combining it with Drunk Bartender Girl’s fear of African-Americans because she was raped once by an African-American. Hysterical x 20.

We also got to see Dennis play at the Living Room, which is a totally awesome space! Who knew. Despite our efforts to get Dennis to play a Strokes cover, he didn’t. But he did do an Interpol cover. What the hell? Where’s the justice?

Our DJ set at Filter 14’s “Modern Snack Lounge” last night: We spun some weird and wonderful songs like “So Watcha Want?” by the Beastie Boys, “Jump” by Kris Kross, “Milkshake” by Kelis, “C’mon C’mon” by The Von Bondies, “Big Brat” by Phantom Planet, “Can’t Get You Out of My Head” by Kylie, “I Want You Back” by the Jackson 5, “You Really Got Me” by The Kinks, “Sweet Child O’ Mine” by Guns ‘n’ Roses, “When It Started” by The Strokes, “Black Tongue” by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, “I’m Waiting For My Man” by the Velvet Underground, (not in that order) and some other stuff. Rob Sheffield, super-DJ, WHY SO GOOD? Rob spun our favorite Stooges song, “1969,” during his set last night. Rob is the raddest person ever.

While Rob was spinning, we were lured on the dancefloor by some crazy dancing man who held out his hand to us. We knew we were in for trouble once I’d taken it, when he started spinning us around and dipping us. But in the middle of being twirled, we got hit with SOMETHING. Some unknown object… maybe a elbow, maybe a glass bottle, we have no idea, other than it REALLY HURT. And then some guy came rushing up apolgizing profusely and they asked if we were OK. We didn’t want to worry anyone, so we said “Yes, we’re OK” and then Rob played “Seven Nation Army” by the White Stripes. We went into survival mode and said to ourselves, “White Stripes song. Must bring the party,” so we started dancing up a storm.

Fast forward 20 minutes later at Shout! at Bar 13, and we’re clutching our head because we have a bump on our noggin the size of half of a golf ball. We persuade people to touch it and revel in the fact that we have a fucking huge ass bump on our head. The bump subsides about 20 minutes after that, but our head still hurts. So if we’re at one of your shows, clutching out heads, it might be because of the injury we suffered, not because your band sucks. Or it could be that your band sucks. It’s your call.

Way to Take Things Too Seriously, Buddy!

Sure the Siren Festival is great for things like music and carnival acts, but what it’s better for is HIPSTER BINGO. If you never thought you’d see the day someone actually took this thing seriously, well congrats, because you’ve seen that day. We took it upon ourselves to print out a copy of the now infamous Hipster Bingo card created by CatBirdSeat and have a bit of fun. The rules of Hipster Bingo include the fact that you can’t use anyone you know. (Believe us, we could have won in a heartbeat!)

Armed with our Bingo card, a pen, and a digital camera, we approached unsuspecting victims, shoved a camera in their faces and snaped a picture without telling them why. We then whipped out our Bingo card and quietly crossed off the appropriate box as they looked on in (bemused) embarrassment, said “thanks,” and then walked away with no further explaination.
Here are some of the results:

B-I-N-G-O! B-I-N-G-O!
B-I-N-G-O! B-I-N-G-O!
B-I-N-G-O! B-I-N-G-O!
B-I-N-G-O! B-I-N-G-O!
B-I-N-G-O! B-I-N-G-O!
B-I-N-G-O!

Believe it or not, we did run into some resistant hipsters. We wanted to take a picture of this guy with a perfect “circa-1968 jagger haircut” but he was all “no no no no!” “But you’re on our Hipster Bingo!,” we tried arguing to no avail. Bastard. Then some dude walked by us and dropped a pack of Parliament cigarettes, and we fumbled for our camera. He picked up the smokes and we shouted, “Hey can we take a picture–,” but he just started walking away, so we continued shouting, “…you’re on our Hipster Bingo, YOU A**HOLE!”

(If any of these people are your friends, hey, it’s not our fault you’re buddies with hipsters.)

Things to Do on July 4, 2003

Don’t forget, MOTHERFUCKER takes charge July 3rd with live music by one of our favorite New York bands, THE FEVER. $10 with flyer, $15 w/out.

THINGS TO DO ON JULY 4th (IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER):

1. SEE RYAN ADAMS AND THE PINKHEARTS AT BATTERY PARK

Hey, what could be better than spending the Fourth of July with your favorite local drunk in a public park? NOTHING! So come down (up?) to Battery Park @ 4PM and witness the wonder that is David Ryan Adams — LIVE.

PRICE: Oh yeah, and IT’S FREE!

2. BEST-TRESSED WILLIAMSBURG ROOFTOP BBQ

Show up to Sugar Factory [49 South 2nd Street (Between Wythe & Kent)] in the Williamsburg starting at 2PM. Party gets shut down by the cops at 12 midnight, get a great view of the fireworks at 9PM.

Performing Live: Vietnam, The Secret Machines, Dead Meadow, Bad Wizard, The Moving Units, Vue, Cass McCombs

DJs: Notorious Shout, The Dutch Crew, and many others.

Cheap beer and booze, scary vegan food by Kate’s Joint.

PRICE: $10

Sell your soul to VICE, Budweiser, Shout!, Dutch, NMEG, and C.O.O.

3. FREEDOM PUDDING

Starting at 10PM at the Slipper Room. DJ Julie spins Britpop, punk/post-punk, new wave, indie, electro clash and related
sonic styles. Sounds like a recipe to a great night out. Hu-yuk yuk yuk!

4. SIN-E ROCK OUT

PRICE: $6

1:00 The Reverend Deadeye

12 midnight: El Jezel

11:00 The Bitter Poet

10:00 Jackson Plastic

9:00 Man in Gray

5. PATRIOT ACTION

LOCATION: Luxx, Williamsburg
PRICE: IT’S 100% FREE, LIKE THIS COUNTRY!

Come and party with the radical deejay stylings of LUIS MAYO AND CHRIS LENTZ

Dance dance dance while you’re listening to:
Buzzcocks, the fleshtones, Neneh Cherry, the Byrds, Alice Cooper, Adam and the Ants, My Bloody Valentine, Velvet Underground, Peaches, and more!

The turntables start at 10 p.m.
Get your booty there for free Fourth of July fun!

AND IF YOU CAN STILL REMEMBER YOUR NAME BY JULY 5th…

6. ROCK FAMILY FUN

LOCATION: Arlene Grocery
TIME: 7PM
PRICE: $7, All ages
7:00 Steel Train
8:00 Surefire

Jamie Oliver vs. Me

I swear, I know who the White Stripes are!

What would happen if we asked Jamie Oliver about music? Maybe something like this:

JAMIE OLIVER: Hiya. How are you doing, dah-lin’?
THE MODERN AGE: Fine. Hey- what are you listening to?
JO: Em… Coldplay.
TMA: Oh I love Coldplay!
JO: ::nods::
TMA: Do you like The Strokes?
JO: Yup. Listen to them. They’re great.
TMA: Yeah. They’re awesome. What about The White Stripes?
JO: ::hesitates:: …The…? ::shakes head, not understanding::

TMA: The White Stripes?

JO: I don’t think I know them…
TMA: Oh really?

JO: OH WAIT! Yes, I DO know them! I have their album ::mild satisfaction::.
TMA: Really?
JO: Yeah.
TMA: Which album?
JO: ….emm…. uh…. ::thinks really hard:: The one with the- … face ::draws a “face” in the air::
TMA: ::thinks:: That’s not a White Stripes album!
JO: No really, I have it!
TMA: ::skeptical:: Are you sure it’s not some other band???
JO: No, it’s them.
TMA: ::still skeptical:: Um… maybe it’s White Blood Cells???
JO: Yeah, that must be it.
TMA: Ok- sure. Whatever.

Later, TMA realizes that Sir Oliver might have been talking about the “Fell in Love with a Girl” single released on XL in the UK. Ok, so maybe he owns a White Stripes release, BUT IT’S STILL NOT AN ALBUM! TMA decides to still take 100 points away from him… and 50 more because he brought up how he had the album when he really didn’t know what he was talking about.

HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING, JAMIE OLIVER WOULD LOSE HIS “CRED”!

And on that note… this chick thinks Jamie Oliver is so her bitch. That’s kinda frightening. You can take your aggression out by punching Jamie in the face.

Guitar Solos at a Rock Concert? Noooo! It Can’t Be True

Um, Abby just made me read The Strokes/White Stripes review I linked from the New York Times and.. um… is it just us, or has this person never been to a concert before?

Coming Home on Crutches and Filling Radio City
By KELEFA SANNEH

“Come on, just cheer, make us feel good,” Julian Casablancas said on Thursday night, and if the request was unnecessary, the attitude of bleary petulance was nevertheless charming. “I’ve never been in here,” he said, glancing around at Radio City Music Hall. “It’s nice.”

The Strokes, the New York band led by Mr. Casablancas, made their debut last fall with a superb half-hour disc called “Is This It” (RCA). The group has been touring the world ever since, playing concerts that don’t last much longer than the album. Thursday’s sold-out performance was another victorious homecoming and more evidence that the Strokes are one of the country’s best rock ‘n’ roll bands.

Mr. Casablancas recently injured his knee, so he hobbled onstage with crutches, tossed them aside and sat down at a microphone. Maybe he’s onto something: although his band likes to play simple, anxious riffs, Mr. Casablancas often croons in a languorous voice that evokes a drunk (and slightly belligerent) lounge singer; being seated only heightened the effect.

The group has a knack for squeezing several tunes into one song. The two guitarists often play jagged, interlocking parts while the bassist adds a more propulsive countermelody, and Mr. Casablancas often sings along with one instrument during the verse and another during the chorus.

There were a few guitar solos, but the band is more interested in creating the perfect break, when almost everything stops and one or two instruments keep going. In “Barely Legal,” there was a moment just before the chorus when the band stopped abruptly, and the guitars played one chord for four bars, accompanied by blinding white lights. The anthemic chorus that followed was almost anticlimactic.

The Strokes have always understood the power of the offbeat, and one of the new songs suggested an intriguing new direction for the group. The chorus sounded familiar enough � Mr. Casablancas sang, “I never needed anybody” � but the accompaniment was a surprise: a reggae guitar line.

The Strokes’ current single is “Someday,” a nearly perfect song about a lover who’s not quite devoted enough to feel nostalgic. “Alone we stand, together we fall apart,” Mr. Casablancas sang, reaching for one of the highest notes he hit all night. But by the next line, he had returned to his usual range, and the old ambivalence was back, too: “Yeah, I think I’ll be all right.”

The opening act was the White Stripes, a Detroit-based duo that has earned almost as much acclaim as the Strokes. The singer and guitarist Jack White kept referring to the drummer as “my older sister Meg,” even though nobody believes they’re really siblings. (They are widely reported to be a divorced couple.)

The performance was so messy it almost seemed like a rehearsal, with Mr. White creating squalls of guitar noise that loosely corresponded to Ms. White’s simple drum patterns. He delivered most of the lyrics in a Led Zeppelin shriek, but during quieter moments the group sounded more mysterious and more urgent. He sang “We’re Going to Be Friends” from the group’s current album, “White Blood Cells” (Third Man/V2), in a voice so gentle and affectionate that one suspected he was hiding a monstrous secret.

Best Show EVER!

The crowd was into it so Jack didn’t have to yell at us for the lack of clapping. There was even one point where everyone was screaming out “YEAH!” in unison… about 7 times with guitar breaks for Jack. Loads of dancing- a bit of moshing. Fun was had by all.


Bo Weevil! Apple Blossom! Rated X! Astro! Jimmy The Exploder! You’re Pretty Good Looking! Hello Operator! Little Bird! Fell In Love With A Girl! Hotel Yorba! And many many more!