Leaked “Nobody Knows How to Talk to Children” Footage Reveals…Nothing

So long-time White Stripes fans who attended the 4-night stand at the Bowery Ballroom in 2002 may remember sketchy peeps in white lab coats running around the building, filming something. As it was revealed later, it was footage being shot for a documentary entitled “Nobody Knows How to Talk to Children” shot/directed/edited by one George Roca.

A still of Meg and Jack from “Nobody Knows How to Talk to Children”

The film only saw one public screening, at the 2004 Seattle Film Festival–despite the fact that the White Stripes did not give their approval to screen or distribute the film. A June 23, 2004 post on the White Stripes’ official site, the band made it known that they were extremely unhappy with the film, and that they had a signed contract from Roca that gave the band all rights to the footage.

According to an MTV News interview with Roca, after the band saw a rough cut of the footage, they extended positive words about the documentary–but only a short time later, the band released a live concert music video for “Black Math,” (below) which mirrored the style of the footage Roca had shown them, and the band cut off all communication.

“Black Math” (live) music video in black, white, and red.

I kinda forgot about the documentary, only hearing about it in passing–almost as it if never existed, gathering a myth of its own. I heard about a friend of a friend who had seen it, maybe, and said it was pretty cool, etc.

But it seems as though a few months ago someone had managed to get a copy of the documentary and upload some clips of it to the internet, and only recently did I become aware of it.
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You Write the Caption: Jack White + Amy Winehouse + Beyonce

This photo of Amy Winehouse, Jack White (HELLO CASPER), and Beyonce Knowles watching Jay-Z’s set during Glastonbury 2008 IS THE MOST AMAZING PHOTO OF OUR TIME.

Words cannot describe, but you can give it a try.

This photo is also hysterical–Jack cannot see what’s going on because Amy Winehouse’s arm is in the way. Someone give Jack White some room!

BONUS: Who would win in a fight: Amy Winehouse, Jack White, or Beyonce?

Jack White Joins Last Shadow Puppets Onstage and Amy Winehouse Punches Out at Glastonbury 2008

This just in from my friend at Abeano Music–Jack White stepped out to play a few bars during The Last Shadow Puppets’ set at Glastonbury. What did he guest on? A cover of Billy Fury’s “Wondrous Place.”


Notice how Jack just casual (and quietly) slumps off stage…like he was never there at all.

Writes NME.com, “Miles Kane explained they had simply bumped into White backstage: “We just asked him and he said yes.”

Picys over at NME.com

More over at Youtube, Abeano Music, NME.com

Although Jack playing is quite exciting, it’s not nearly as exciting as this video of Amy Winehouse punching someone in the middle of her Glasto set. Appropriately enough, it was during “Rehab.” Hysterical…especially b/c the guy who got punched was not hurt:

The Kooks “Shine On” with Michelob Ultra

Last night I was watching Bad TV, and as a punishment I was subjected to watching this Michelob Ultra ad, which has the Kooks “Shine On” as the theme song. Well, at least this is not nearly as bad as that Hives “Well Alright” Sears commercial that I not only hear on TV but also on radio.

Oh FANTASTIC, there’s an alternate version. Just what I needed:

Even More Coldplay @ Madison Square Garden

Some additional thoughts/photos from Monday’s free Coldplay show.

At one point, early on in the night everyone got great amusement out of screaming out “BLUE BALLS!” in reference to the gigantic video screen projection spheres that were lowered from the ceiling at various points through the show.

Throughout the show pre-recorded footage and live feeds of the concert were projected onto the AV balls, and as I mentioned in my earlier post, they were used as lyric prompts during “Lost!”

These magical spheres are called “PufferSpheres,” made by a Edinburgh-based company called Pufferfish. Previously they have worked with companies like Google for special events and presentations.

During the final song of the night, machines through the arena shot out tons and tons of confetti into the air. It was especially cool when they made the glowing balls turn blue and all the neon-colored confetti became awesome GLOW IN THE DARK CONFETTI!

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Coldplay’s Free Show @ Madison Square Garden

Tonight I went to the free Coldplay show at MSG. There were not many “surprises”–the show was almost identical in set list as the free Brixton Academy show, but it was super fun nonetheless. You cannot beat FREE!

Here I am in my little bubble…

Setlist: Life in technicolor (intro), Violet hill, clocks, in my place, viva la vida, Chinese Sleep Chant, god put a smile upon your face, 42, square one, trouble, lost!, strawberry swing, [yellow, Death Will Never Conquer (from gate 60, toward the back of MSG)], fix you, lovers in japan/ reign of love [outro]

Of course celebrities are fans of free as well. Folks like Kirsten Dunst, Ed Burns, Charlize Theron, and Danny Masterson (who sadly did not make it in the gossip mentions anywhere else, and who I saw on Sunday afternoon at brunch–weird).

From Gate 60:

There were many stops and mistakes during the performance, like right before they played “Chinese Sleep Chant”–when there were technical difficulties with Jonny Buckland’s equipment at the front right stage and Chris declared that “some people say we are much better as a three piece.” And right before launching into their anthem “Viva La Vida,” Chris stated, “Somehow it’s made it to number one in your country. It just goes to show that with good marketing and a handsome bass player you can achieve anything.

Coldplay–ok, Chris Martin–can be particularly cloying in their desire to seem like the “everyman band”…always polite, always humble, always suffering from a horrible guilt complex in regards to being successful, and this pattern of behavior carried through the MSG performance with Chris continuing to take knocks at himself and his fellow band members throughout the concert.

While this very un-rock star type behavior can make everyone uncomfortable at times (Seriously, it’s that whole YOU ROCK STAR, US SCREAMING FANS thing that makes concert dynamics work, Chris.), I honestly believe that deep down somewhere the men of Coldplay remain honest guys who truly do care about their fans and at their very core they are just four regular dudes who happen to sell millions of records.

During the final number, “Fix You” when Chris mucked up the lyrics from the beginning. Later in the song he improvised by singing, “Lyrics to old songs that you don’t know/And you embarrass yourself at MSG/But it doesn’t matter one bit, everyone got in for free”–one of the many times Chris brought up the fact that the tickets were gratis.

Pretty colors with lyrics projected on the video balls during “Lost”

As I was walking out, I heard some guy behind me declaring to his wife, “Oh boy, the bloggers are going to CRUCIFY them tomorrow. He [Chris Martin] messed up three times in that one song, AND they didn’t play an encore.” Er.. ok. I think the point of seeing a live show is to see a band LIVE–there are going to be mistakes! Seriously, are people predicting what bloggers are going to write about the next day? Or is saying “oh boy, the bloggers are going to write about this…” a “safe” way of putting forth your own questionable opinions?

It was a little disappointing that there was no encore, but hey–maybe they were paying MSG by the hour. But probably with all that merchandise they sold (commemorative concert tees with “VIVA” and “VIVA LA VIDA” cost $30, posters cost $10) helped them recoup any of the money they shelled out do put this show on.

Anyway, I thought the concert was a great. I would say that some of the new songs did fall a little flat with the crowd due to their slow and/or non-sing-a-long nature (“Chinese Sleep Chant” and “42”), but others were tremendous fun (“Lost” and “VLV”). A little sad they didn’t do some of my CP faves like “Shiver” or “Everything’s Not Lost,” but I suppose some songs had to get the boot in order to play the new diddys. (Not everyone can play 3 1/2 hour shows like Ryan Adams.)

The boys are also on the cover of the new June 2008 issue of SPIN:


You Write the Caption: Chris Martin Onstage at Brixton Academy

I know how much you guys love giving Coldplay’s Chris Martin–and even the occasional Coldplay drum machine–captions (see your handiwork here and here), and when I saw this photo taken at last night’s free Coldplay concert at London’s Brixton Academy, I just knew that you’d be itching to have your say.

UPDATE: I Am Fuel, You Are Friends have posted MP3s of the entire Brixton concert. Head there for a download.
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Viva La Vida Released in the US/This Week’s Best Quotes about Coldplay

Hooray! Today Coldplay’s new album Viva La Vida finally hits US shores. In honor of the release, and Chris Martin’s uncanny ability to simultaneous annoy and endear, below will be a billion links to stories relating to Coldplay.

I’ve compiled a (growing) list of this week’s best quotes about the band, so you don’t have to. So embrace your inner “sensitive man” and read on:

Review of Coldplay’s Brixton Academy show from last night. “For a 30 million selling supergroup, there is something endearingly gauche about Coldplay.” (BTW- Will did a cover of the The Goldrush song “Death Will Never Conquer” at the show, which was broadcasted on Radio 1) [Telegraph UK]

“How many albums would Coldplay have to sell to save recorded music, the side of the business we’re all familiar with from movies and television? Approximately 900 billion.” [NY Mag]

“Chris Martin must have just read Chapter 7 of the How to be Like Thom Yorke Handbook: Walking Off and Other Moody Outbursts. Seriously…he’s not cool enough to walk out on anyone. That’s like the nerd getting up to go eat lunch in the phone booth.” [Ricky, TMA commenter]

“I pity the poor bastards who have to watch them. They are utterly humourless,” barked Sex Pistols frontman Johnny Rotten. [The Sentinel]
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