So I did watch all of the Oscars, and although I could have live-blogged, I didn’t b/c I wanted to soak in all the Oscary goodness uninterrupted. I’m setting a time limit of 10 minutes for me to just go over everything I can think of about the show off the top of my head, starting…NOW!
Ellen’s jokes in the beginning were pretty funny. The joke about people being named “Oscar” made me laugh for about 2 minutes.
I hysterically laughed when Nicole Kidman said “Dreamgoils” instead of “Dreamgirls”. Maybe she’s really from the Bronx.
More laughter when Tom Hanks totally took the piss out of Chris Connelly when he asked him if their was more fun to come. Tom said something like, “SO MUCH FUN!”, with his face lighting up with cheesy enthusiasm. Brilliant.
Woah! Tom Cruise presented. That scared me a little.
Hello weird behind the scrim tumbler people making weird shadow people puppets for all the flicks nominated for Best Picture.
YESSSSSS! Martin Scorsese wins for directing The Departed. I am saddened Mark Wahlberg did not win, I just wanted to scream out WAAAAHHHLLLBEEERRRRRR really bad–and I did.
Leo DiCaprio and Al Gore sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
Anne Hathaway. WHY. WEARING. VALENTINO BOW DISASTER?
Kirsten Dunst just cannot help but always look frumpy with her horrible posture and horrible fashion choices. What was up with her crazy grandma mermaid look? YUCK.
Emily Blunt, however, looked fab in a blue shimmery Calvin Klein dress. Jennifer Hudson tried out for the Flash Gordon movie with a ridiculous gold cape.
DIEGO LUNA = THE SEX. JAMES MCAVORY (aka Mr. Tumnas) = THE SCOTTISH DIEGO LUNA. THEREFORE DIEGO LUNA + JAMES MCAVORY + BOTH AT OSCARS = MY BRAIN EXPLODING FROM THE SEXY.
Beyonce had what looked like an entire vine of grapes falling all over her boob.
Something is wrong with Gywneth Paltrow. Like what was up with her hair sticking to her body? Why was she talking all weird. Why does she get to sit in the front row when she hasn’t even had a good movie in about 3 years?
Why are the following people allowed to present Oscars?: Cameron Diaz, Jerry Sienfeld, Jessica Biel.
Damn–out of time…