These Photos of Val Kilmer Kissing Paris Hilton/ Winona Ryder Totally Confuse Me

Wait a minute, have Wino and Paris run out of scraggly musicians and Greek shipping heirs (respectively) to make out with? You know what? I’m not even going to ask. I do not claim to understand anything about what goes on in the weird world of celebrities. Apparently the Val Kilmer vs. Winona set is making a “jokey joke” of the Paris set. Ha ha. Funny guys?

winona ryder fake kisses val kilmer

paris hilton and val kilmer

(Source)

Brody Dalle Reveals Herself Post-Pregnancy

Wow! Having a baby DOES change everything. Take one look at rock ‘n’ roll queen Brody Dalle of the Distillers, who just gave birth to a little girl last month, and try to argue otherwise. Gone are her punky jet black locks, ring around the eye makeup, and lace up leather vests–hello naturally blonde hair, peach colored lipstick, and flowy beaded blue dresses. What a post-baby eXtreme makeover.

brody dalle josh homme

But one look at her right hand fingers and you’ll see some things never change. Brody is already back to smoking cigarettes. Proud papa Josh Homme (of Queens of the Stone Age) seems to be taking suit, his left hand is doing double duty balancing his drink and death stick.

In case you’re not familiar with what Brody looked like before, here’s a photo from 2004.

brody dalle bbc

Many folks are giving their baby-rearing advice on ONTD, and you can also catch all the pregnant women warnings people are leaving Karen Elson about hair dye as well.

Be sure to check out an interview I did with Brody and the boys a few years ago when they were doing Lollapalooza.

Should I Start Calling Him Tennesee Jack?

According to local TN paper the Tennessean, Jack White has bought a large house in the Brentwood area of Tennessee, near Music City, USA–aka Nashville. He and wife Karen Elson were spotted buying furniture from “ultra-cool store Pre-to-Post Modern.” One could only assume that Jack, a former upholsterer, was having a ball checking out the wares. You’ll also be happy to know that Jack pumps his own gas at Shell.

No idea if this is to be a permanent home or just one of the many properties in Jack’s real estate portfolio. Thanks to the anonymous poster for the Tennessean tip.

Preggy Karen Elson Walks Marc Jacobs Show

Ok, I’m getting sick of posting about the White Stripes and Marc Jacobs! But here’s one more…Jack‘s wife, model Karen Elson opened up the Fall 2006 Marc Jacobs fashion show wearing a moss-green shirt/dress/cape thing, which covered up what one would assume is her swelling belly. The belly that is housing what will be known as the palest child ever born. Here are some photos:

Karen Elson walks Marc Jacobs

Karen Elson walks Marc Jacobs

UPDATE: Someone sent me this photo of Karen E. hanging out with the Yeah Yeah Yeahs’s Karen O. at the after party. Two times the Karen, two times the fun!

Karen Elson and Karen O at Marc Jacobs

Is Ryan Adams the New Bryan Adams for Lindsay Lohan?

In the “this is too retarded to be true” category, In Touch magazine is suggesting that Lindsay Lohan has been “quietly dating” Ryan Adams for about a month. This “report” surfaces just a few weeks after La Lohan got into the “just took a shower, slipped and cut my leg on a teacup in Bryan Adams‘s London mansion” accident according to Star magazine.

Her “pal” tells In Touch: “She’s spending all her free time with him. She has been staying at his Greenwich Village (New York) apartment almost every night. She thinks musicians are sexy and she’s a fan of his music.” When asked to comment, all former Adams girlfriend Parkey Posey would say was, “He-he-hello! What a downgrade!” Minnie Driver responded, “I thought I was supposed to be the only one rumored to be dating Ryan. Whatever.” Thanks for the heads up, Seeking Irony.

UPDATE: According to unconfirmed reports, pages from Lindsay Lohan’s hand-written diary were ripped out last week and nothing about Ryan has surfaced (Jared Leto, not so lucky…but now people thing he’s got a big *youknowwhat* so what does he care?), so let’s just hope (and pray) than La Lohan is not hitting up Ryan Adams. Ryan Adams shouldn’t want for Diego Garcia’s rumored leftovers.

Here’s a photo off of Graboff.com of Ryan recording at LoHo Studios in January of this year, which jives with our spy’s January 18th sighting…which I guess would fall under the alleged month of La Lohan dating. And if you look carefully at the LoHo Studios client list, you’ll notice that both Ryan Adams and Lindsay Lohan have recorded there–as have Moby, Interpol, Stellastarr* and John Mayer. So obviously Lindsay is dating all of them. I think I also heard a rumor that I’m dating Lindsay Lohan–but that one is true.

ryan recording

God, don’t you think all this investigative “journalism” into whether or not Lindsay Lohan is dating Ryan would be much better spent on trying to figure out what the songs he was recording sounded like?!?

Also according to the MB on RyanAdams.org, tickets for the VH1 Classics presents Sheryl Crow and Friends (I know) show in Atlantic City that Ryan is performing at go on sale this weekend on Ticketbastard. Don’t worry, I’ll hold your hair back as you vomit while purchasing tickets.

sheryl crow VH1

And just for old times sake, here’s a drawing of Ryan I made like 4 or 5 years ago:

Vanity Fair Goes Bottoms Up

Is this Vanity Fair cover really necessary? Tom Ford, Kiera Knightley, and Scarlett Johansson look like weird, blue-toned mutants in this photo. They all look like they’ve been Photoshopped within an inch of their lives. Kiera and Scarlett look particularly pasty, and Scarlett’s body looks kinda pear-shaped. And why the hell does Tom Ford get to be guest art director of Vanity Fair? And why the hell does he get to be on the cover? Oh yeah, I’m sure it was because Rachel McAdams backed out…

McAdams must be patting herself on the back for storming out of that photo shoot when she found out Tom Ford’s pervy “vision” was to have everyone pose completely nude. As a woman of 29, she knew better than to bare it all with two questionably talented starlets. She was even so pissed off that she canned her publicist. Do not mess with McAdams–she will f-ck your sh-t UP!

In other gross story from this VF issue, it was reported that Ford insisted that the VF fashion department pull “really grown-up clothes” (aka: skin-baring dresses and platform high heels) for child star Dakota Fanning, currently 12 years old.

Looks like Tom Ford belongs in the offensive misogynistic gay guy club with Issac Mizrahi. I can’t believe Scarlett fell for both their tricks!

tom ford VF

You’ve Been Served: The NY Times Beats Up Pete Doherty

Today there was a pretty sad/ interesting/ damning article about the thrice-arrested- in-one-day Pete Doherty in the New York Times.  Sarah Lyall was able to be pretty merciful in her description of the Boy Rocker Who Would Be King–partly because the people she interviewed did all the bad-mouthing for her (which is kinda golden for news journos). Examples:

“We’ve done it [bail Pete out of jail] before; we can’t keep doing it…We’re not bounty hunters.” –Colin Wallace, international label manager of Babyshambles’s record label, Rough Trade

“He could have had it all, but it’s getting a little annoying by now, isn’t it?…He believes in the romance of it all and in chemical assistance as a way of expanding your mind. But, basically, he’s been given a lot of chances and he’s flunked them.” –Malik Meer, the assistant editor at NME

“What’s happened is that Arctic Monkeys have come along and taken all his fans away with one fell swoop…It’s still debatable how great his talent is. He was very promising, but it’s never been fulfilled. All he’s done is frustrate people.” –Paul Rees, the editor of Q magazine

I mean if the British people are even giving up on Pete (who I still refer to as “Pete Libertine”), what hope is there for this fellow? If even the New York Times is taking time out to say “Pete Doherty, you’re a wash up,” that’s gotta hurt.

Pete Doherty: tortured genius, retarded junkie, mediocre musician but amazing media whore, future Big Brother contestant, or the inspiration behind James Frey‘s upcoming memoir? What do you think?

Night of a Thousand Comedians

Ok, it was really only two comedians, but in a span of 20 minutes. I went with S.G. to Momofuku (aka- one of THE BEST ramen places in NYC) and saw David Cross there. This made S.G. sad because that meant that David wasn’t filming Arrested Development. Does anyone have any idea if a network has definitely picked up the show yet?

Then when we were walking down the street to Odessa, I almost physically ran into Demetri Martin…although I didn’t see him until S.G. pointed at him as he walked by. I caught Demetri out of the corner of my eye–I think he was wearing a red sweatshirt, backpack, and headphones. I’m sure he was wearing pants too, but I didn’t have time to look.

Ben Gibbard Totally Bummed Out about Apple Ripping Off Postal Service Video

As you may have heard already, the new Apple commercial talking about the inclusion of Intel chips is almost a shot-for-shot reproduction of The Postal Service video for “Such Great Heights.” It was shot by the same directors, but that is absolutely no excuse. I thought these kinds of negative press publicity stunts were only reserved for Tom Cruise and Lindsay Lohan.

The Gibbard himself is not pleased at all. See the note he posted on the offical Postal Service site:

01/19/06

A Note from Ben

It has recently come to our attention that Apple Computers’ new television commercial for the Intel chip features a shot-for-shot recreation of our video for ‘Such Great Heights’ made by the same filmmakers responsible for the original. We did not approve this commercialization and are extremely disappointed with both parties that this was executed without our consultation or consent. -Ben Gibbard, The Postal Service

Watch the side-by-side video and be amazed at the brazen duplication. Oh, and BTW, Apple is now heavily rotating in ads for the downloading of the Postal Service video–probably in an effort to make nice. But of course they have to do something jacked up, so they are serving up a censored version of the video. Everytime it’s supposed to say “Skyworks” the name is blurred out.