Gwynie Trys Her Darndest to Save Us from Next Coldplay Album

Gwyneth Paltrow accidentally knocked over the computer husband Chris Martin uses to write songs in their London home, reportedly “rendering it difficult to turn on.” Fortunately (?) the data on the computer was not damaged and no information was lost.

At least she’s dropping computers and not babies like Britney Spears.

[SOURCE]

Pete Doherty Finally Dropped from Rough Trade?

Wow, someone at Rough Trade finally had it up to here with Pete Doherty and now his band, Babyshambles, has been officially droped from the RT roster. Apparently Rough Trade can handle a lot of things, but squirting a MTV camera crew with blood from a syringe is not one of them.

In related news, Pete’s old flame Kate Moss is doing swimingly as the “sexy and stunning” spokesmodel for the Nikon S6.

Let that be a lesson to all of you: Snorting crack = good for modeling career, squirting blood = bad for music career.

Glad we got that squared away once and for all.

SOURCE: And Now There Is This Distance

UPDATE: Er…Babyshambles hasn’t been “dropped” by Rough Trade…they just haven’t had time to renegotiate a contract. Oooookkaaayy…

When a Musician/ Model/ Boy Toy and an Actress/ Musician/ Party Girl Collide

Some of you may have been sitting home this fine Friday evening wonder, “Gee, what would happen if a unknown musician/ model/ professional ‘who’s that guy?’ and a flame-haired American starlet were caught kissing on the street”? Well you’re in luck, because Jamie Burke and Lindsay Lohan have totally made your night.

According to what I saw on the E!‘s Daily 10 and Egotastic, La Lohan was seen smooching Jamie, who just happens to be her gal pal Kate Moss’s ex.

And what relevance, if any, does this have on your life? None, unless you accidentally find yourself at a Carte Blanche show–of which Jamie is the lead singer–in NYC in June or July.

Oh Lindsay, it’s so good to see you picking up right where Wino left off.

Could a Valensi-De Cadenet Baby Be on Its Way?

Today, while responding to a post on her Web site’s message board, Amanda De Cadenet made the following statement:

sorry it took me SO long to respond…i’m busy being pregnant which seems to be quite time consuming!

Woah! I’m assuming it would be Mr. Nick Valensi’s love child. Congratulations to the expecting couple! That’s gonna be one rock ‘n’ roll baby. When they get older this baby and big sis Atlanta (Amanda’s child with Duran Duran’s John Taylor) can spend hours debating who has the cooler dad. Thanks to Tess and The Strokes BB for the link!

valensi de cadnet baby

Valensi photo from here.

The Strokes Begrudgingly Attend Rolling Stone’s Party?

According to reports published in WWD today, The Strokes have gotten into a tiff over money with Wenner Media over their compensation fee for playing Rolling Stone’s 1,000 issue celebration next week. It is rumored that Wenner originally made a verbal agreement for an undisclosed sum to the rock ‘n’ rollers but have since scaled back the amount offered.

A conflicting report from another snitch disputed that claim, stating the band tried to pull a fast one on Wenner and inflated their booking fee, to which Wenner bargained them back down to the original asking price.

It’s also rumored that The Strokes weren’t even supposed to be the headlining act, rather an opener to a more estabilshed rock group like Tom Petty or Bruce Springsteen. Who’s taking the place of the Heartbreaker and The Boss? Uh…Paul Shaffer, of course.

Crib Notes for My One Click Apperance

Hey all-

For anyone who listened to the broadcast of Imran Ahmed’s One Click Magazine program on BBC Radio 1 and heard me talking about Jack White, Wonder Showzen, MySpace sluts, and Second Life. (You can listen to the broadcast until May 2nd right here.)

Here’s your guide to where to find more information on the things I talked about with Imran.

WATCH: Jack White’s Coca-Cola commercial

YELL AT EACH OTHER: My post about Jack White’s Coke commercial 

OFFICIAL SITE: Wonder Showzen

WIKI: Zig and Zag

VIEW: MediaBistro’s MySpace slut thread, Tila Tequila’s MySpace profile, Tila Tequila’s Official Web site (NSFW)

GET A NEW LIFE: Second Life

LISTEN: To me talking about all of the above on OneClick Magazine

Rapid Fire Captions

Rachel kept sending me photos from People.com and AOL, and I kept writing stupid captions for them:

The Blonde Stick and Charlton Heston: “That baby is so wrinkly–and it’s face is all like, ‘Eh, don’t touch me bizzotch. Whatever’.”

Kanye West: “Um, he’s totally Rainbow Brite.”

Will Smith at the Wailing Wall: “Is the dude behind him w/ the shades his security detail? Haha. He’s wearing a Kangulke.”

Jessica Simpson: “Happy Kwanza, y’all.”

The Raconteurs: “Patrick looks like a grown-up Muldoon.”