Jack White Tries to Get Into Guinness Book of World Records with “Most Metaphors in a Single Concert”

As you may have heard, Jack White has recently revealed some beef he has with the Guinness Book of World Records folks over the White Stripes’ record for “Shortest Musical Concert” , which was recognized in the 2009 edition, but removed in subsequent additions.

Guinness says that since publishing the record, which was set with their 2007 one-note concert at St John’s in Newfoundland, Canada, others have challenged its validity — some claiming that just appearing on stage was enough to break the record.

As a result, Jackie has taken the piss out of the whole situation and decided to very seriously attempt to set a new record of “Most metaphors in a single concert.”

Concert-goers of his upcoming tour are encouraged not to “interfere or interject with any metaphors that they witness” during the show “as to not disqualify or worse yet, trivialize the metaphor in question. Audience members are encouraged to “entice as many metaphors to occur during the show… as long as they don’t’ endanger themselves or Mr. White.”

Methinks this is going to make for an interesting concert tour.

Full press release below:

JACK WHITE ATTEMPTS NEW WORLD RECORD

Jack White has again decided to take on the tremendous challenge of making it into the Guinness Book of World Records.

During the rest of the performances on his current tour supporting his new album “Blunderbuss” (which incidentally is currently in the running for the world record of “the fastest named album in history” *pending), Jack White will every night on stage attempt to break the world record for most metaphors in a single concert.

The attempt may prove very exhausting and at times even dangerous, but the results could prove to be glorious and possibly even vainglorious. White and Third Man Records are certain that the extremely scientific and intricate analysis of the metaphors that occur will be examined in accordance with Guinness’ usually very thorough methods probably, or at the very least if somebody answers the phone at the pub.

Third Man Records encourages all attendees of said concerts to please not interfere or interject with any metaphors that they witness occur during the show as to not disqualify or worse yet, trivialize the metaphor in question. In addition all concert attendees are encouraged to entice as many metaphors to occur during the show that they possibly can as long as they don’t endanger themselves or Mr. White.

For your chance to participate in the making of history, Jack White & crew can be seen at one of the following venues:

05/18-20/12 – Gulf Shores, AL – The Hangout Music Fest

05/19/12 – Asheville, NC – The Orange Peel +

05/21/12- NY, NY – Roseland Ballroom +

05/22/12 – NY, NY – Roseland Ballroom +

05/24/12 – Detroit, MI – Scottish Rite Theater +

05/24/12 – Detroit, MI – Scottish Rite Theater (all ages matinee show) +

05/26/12 – George, WA – Sasquatch Music Festival

05/27/12 – Vancouver, BC – Queen Elizabeth Theatre +

05/28/12 – Eugene, OR – Hult Center for the Performing Arts (Silva Concert Hall) +

05/30/12 – Los Angeles, CA – The Wiltern +

05/31/12 – Los Angeles, CA – The Wiltern +

06/21/12 – London, UK – O2 Academy Broxton +

06/22/12 – London, UK – Hammersmith Apollo +

06/23/12 – Hackney Marshes, London, UK – Radio 1’s Hackney Weekend

06/25/12 – Amsterdam, NL – Heineken Music Hall

06/26/12 – Berlin, Germany – Tempodrom

06/27/12 – Cologne, Germany – E-Werk +

06/29/12 -Werchter, Belgium – Rock Werchter

07/01/12 – Belfort, France – Les Eurockeennes

07/02/12 – Paris, France – L’Olympia +

07/03/12 – Paris, France – L’Olympia +

07/05/12 – Hamburg, Germany – Docks +

07/05-08/12 – Roskilde, Denmark – Roskilde Festival

07/20-22/12 – Dover, Delaware – Firefly Music Festival +

07/25/12 – Melbourne, Australia – Festival Hallm +

07/26/12 – Sydney, Australia – Hordern Pavillion +

07/27/12 – Byron Bay, Australia – Splendour In The Grass Festival +

07/27-29/12 – Niigata, Japan – Fuji Rock Festival +

08/03-05/12 – Chicago, IL – Lollapalooza

08/08/12 – Morrison, CO – Red Rocks Amphitheater

08/10-12/12 – San Francisco, CA – Outside Lands

Author: laura

I run The Modern Age.org

1 thought on “Jack White Tries to Get Into Guinness Book of World Records with “Most Metaphors in a Single Concert””

  1. I’m seeing Jack on the 24th in Detroit so I will be sure to keep my metaphors to myself.

Comments are closed.