Dear Grammys…

…don’t ever make me watch the Jonas Brothers perform with Stevie Wonder ever again. It’s just too painful.

…watching a uber pregnant M.I.A. perform alongside T.I., Jay-Z, and Lil’ Wayne, was awesome. She is possibly the coolest woman in music EVER.

…make all of Coldplay wear the same purple outfits that Will Champion was wearing.

…keep giving Jennifer Hudson awards for her amazing singing, but make it a stipulation that she’s not allowed to wear outfits that cover her face anymore. (Luckily her makeup was gorgeous.)

Katy Perry should not be allowed to perform anywhere, let alone as Chiquita Banana.

Alison Krauss and Robert Plant doing “Rich Woman” = fantastic. It kinda was like this:

…don’t ever allow Gwyneth Paltrow to present again dressed up as a gold disco ball. Especially when she’s wearing some throwaway shiny tights from some high school cheerleader conference. Especially when she’s salivating over Radiohead. (Are you trying to make her British-obsessed lady boner explode? Granted, it’s hard to say who was more excited, her or her Radiohead-worshiping husband.)

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…thank you for making Zooey Deschanel the obligatory actress/singer/songwriter presenter of the night instead of Scarlert Johansson, even if she had the laborious task of explaining about 50 times to reporters that she’s NOT Katy Perry.

…even though I think the Beatles are amazing, I don’t think Paul McCartney is amazing. And I’m insulted that he only did a Beatles song. John Lennon is turning over in his grave.

…thanks for giving Taylor Swift to redeem herself from that awful SNL performance by allowing her to perform with a simple arrangement and no dance moves. However, I still preferred Miley Cyrus, because despite what anyone says, she can actually sing.

Author: laura

I run The Modern Age.org

4 thoughts on “Dear Grammys…”

  1. This is a hilarious letter – thanks for posting it. I loved most of the Grammys and, like you, hated other parts. I’m all for fair reviews, and that’s why I love the user written music, movie, and game reviews on EverHype (www.everhype.com/?utm_source=bc). Down with the Jonas Brothers and up with Taylor Swift.

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