Help Me! I’m Trapped In (and Out of) My Apartment

Ok, so you know how it’s pretty typical that a blogger doesn’t want to go outside–that they just want to stay indoors and blog all day long? Well when a blogger wants to get outside, they generally want to be able to get out. Unfortunately for me, that is not the case this morning. I AM LOCKED INSIDE MY APARTMENT. Yes, that’s right–the door will NOT open, no matter how hard I try.

The Backseat Blogger came over and tried to help me open it from the outside. We even tried slipping a credit card through to make the latch unhook. NO LUCK. The BB had to go back to work so now I’m alone again. Alone alone. I am trapped inside my damn apartment until a locksmith or my landlord gets me out somehow.

It’s funny how a little piece of metal can prevent you from freedom. Damn you modern technology.

Luckily I went grocery shopping yesterday (which I never do), so I have some sustenance to tide me over. Unfortunately there are things inside my apartment that people in the outside world need, and I can’t get them out in a timely manner because I’m locked in.

So for now I wait for delicious freedom.

door_jam.jpg

UPDATE 1

The family member with my extra set of keys now has to come to my building in order to let the lock guy in. The waiting and retardness continues.

UPDATE 2

My key ambassador and the lock guy have found each other downstairs. I CAN TASTE FREEDOM. It’s so close, yet so far away.

UPDATE 3

Er… trying the key did not work (of course). Now someone has to scale the fire escape and come through my window. This is a full rescue mission.

UPDATE 4

A man has climbed through my fire escape. He is fiddling with screwdrivers taking my lock apart. However, we are both locked inside.

UPDATE 5

Ok, he’s been fiddling for about 7 minutes now. Still no luck. Will I have to climb the fire escape tonight?

UPDATE 6

Instead of just asking me, this guy started going through my utensils to find something else to pry with. I gave him my toolbag of screwdrivers. Seriously, would you randomly take someone else’s fork for jimmying w/out asking?

UPDATE 7

The door looks looser, but still not open. There’s hope though.

UPDATE 8

The door just got popped- FREEDOM IS MINE! But now we have to get a new lock b/c there’s a giant gaping hole in my door where the old lock was.

UPDATE 9

The new lock is in place, although it took the guy about an hour to get it juuust right so it would move smoothly. The folks over at Gawker indulged my vapid post with a link, and the resulting comments are pretty hilarious.

Surprisingly people thought my post was somehow a cry for someone to expedite the opening of my door rather than it’s true purpose–a coping mechanism for induced claustrophobia. But seeing those comments had me thinking–imagine if I had been trapped in a room with only my laptop and an internet connection. I guess that would be sufficient enough to get me some sort of help.

UPDATE 10

You ever have one of those days where nothing, and I mean NOTHING goes right? I’m having one of those days. Yes, dear reader, only a few hours after I had a new lock installed I had a locksmith drill through the cylinder of the lock to get me back INTO my apartment.

How is it possible for one human being to be locked IN their apartment, then locked OUT of their apartment only a few hours later? Well it goes something like this: As I’m finishing up my post about being locked inside my apartment, I take my camera and go outside my door to take a photo of my brand new lock (see above). The door closes, and yup, that sinking feeling of “oh sh-t, all the keys are inside” hits. I don’t usually have the door do autolock, but since the lock is new, it must be on since the doorknob won’t budge. My new lock is SO new that I didn’t have time to give anyone the extra set of keys.

So there I am, wearing a t-shirt, shorts, and flip-flops with no money, no credit cards, no cell phone–stranded outside of my stupid apartment that I’d been locked inside of all day long. For a minute I consider climbing down the fire escape and going through the window that is open–but I take one look at the steep fall and my knees begin to quiver. Climbing down fire escapes in the dark is somehow terrifying.

After some hemming and hawing, I finally walk to the apartment of someone nearby who I hope and pray is home. Thankfully they are there and they take me in. We debate on what to do.

Scaling the fire escape would be a viable option if we could find someone brave enough–then I see a flash of lightening and a crack of thunder, and wha-la! there’s a torrential downpour outside. The fire escape quickly does not become an option. I could wait until tomorrow morning and then deal with getting a locksmith then…but it’s not even 10pm–relatively early–so I decide to go with the option of calling a late-night locksmith.

Within 15 minutes the locksmith is drilling through my brand new lock. He pops it out, pops in a new lock and it’s all over. Sure I’m a few greenbacks poorer, but at least I don’t have to deal with it tomorrow morning–and try to explain to everyone at work how I managed to get locked in my apartment one day then OUT of it the next.

So anyway, I hope this chapter of my life is now fully at a close. I am simultaneously terrified to be in my apartment and outside of it. Oh, and I’m never ever leaving my apartment without keys ever again.

At least no one had to do this:

Author: laura

I run The Modern Age.org

21 thoughts on “Help Me! I’m Trapped In (and Out of) My Apartment”

  1. seriously… you should have popped the hinges ala Leonardo Davinci in EverAfter. Why didn’t I think of that before?

  2. You should write an R. Kelly “Trapped in the Closet” style suite of songs about your adventure and call it – “Trapped in the Apartment”. Except pull out a bazooka instead of a beretta.

  3. This is the best excuse for getting out of work that I have heard in a really long time. I am going to totally use it the next time I have a debilitating hangover! Then of course I will blog from my loft all day . Thank you!

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