Oscar Blog In Under Ten Minutes

So I did watch all of the Oscars, and although I could have live-blogged, I didn’t b/c I wanted to soak in all the Oscary goodness uninterrupted. I’m setting a time limit of 10 minutes for me to just go over everything I can think of about the show off the top of my head, starting…NOW!

Ellen’s jokes in the beginning were pretty funny. The joke about people being named “Oscar” made me laugh for about 2 minutes.

I hysterically laughed when Nicole Kidman said “Dreamgoils” instead of “Dreamgirls”. Maybe she’s really from the Bronx.

More laughter when Tom Hanks totally took the piss out of Chris Connelly when he asked him if their was more fun to come. Tom said something like, “SO MUCH FUN!”, with his face lighting up with cheesy enthusiasm. Brilliant.

Woah! Tom Cruise presented. That scared me a little.

Hello weird behind the scrim tumbler people making weird shadow people puppets for all the flicks nominated for Best Picture.

YESSSSSS! Martin Scorsese wins for directing The Departed. I am saddened Mark Wahlberg did not win, I just wanted to scream out WAAAAHHHLLLBEEERRRRRR really bad–and I did.

Leo DiCaprio and Al Gore sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

Anne Hathaway
. WHY. WEARING. VALENTINO BOW DISASTER?

Kirsten Dunst just cannot help but always look frumpy with her horrible posture and horrible fashion choices. What was up with her crazy grandma mermaid look? YUCK.

Emily Blunt, however, looked fab in a blue shimmery Calvin Klein dress. Jennifer Hudson tried out for the Flash Gordon movie with a ridiculous gold cape.

DIEGO LUNA = THE SEX. JAMES MCAVORY (aka Mr. Tumnas) = THE SCOTTISH DIEGO LUNA. THEREFORE DIEGO LUNA + JAMES MCAVORY + BOTH AT OSCARS = MY BRAIN EXPLODING FROM THE SEXY.

Beyonce had what looked like an entire vine of grapes falling all over her boob.

Something is wrong with Gywneth Paltrow. Like what was up with her hair sticking to her body? Why was she talking all weird. Why does she get to sit in the front row when she hasn’t even had a good movie in about 3 years?

Why are the following people allowed to present Oscars?: Cameron Diaz, Jerry Sienfeld, Jessica Biel.

Damn–out of time…

Author: laura

I run The Modern Age.org

35 thoughts on “Oscar Blog In Under Ten Minutes”

  1. To dan:

    The song from the commercial was The Zombies – The way i feel inside. It’s from their first UK release called Begin Here. The song was also featured on the Life Aquatic soundtrack.

  2. anybody else love the elephant mastercard commericial? an elephant and a monkey taking care of an sick old guy in a commercial. priceless.

  3. Thanks, Audrey – but that’s not it (unless JC Penny ran another ad I forgot about). The song from a JC Penny commercial I’m looking for is by a woman. You can actually hear it on the JCPenny website if you click on “Every Day Matters”. Isn’t that nice? I’ve tried Googling the lyrics but I get no results. Who can help me??
    Thanks!
    DK

  4. “anybody else love the elephant mastercard commericial? an elephant and a monkey taking care of an sick old guy in a commercial. priceless.”

    That made me go AWWW. Several times.

    Also- YAY Emily Blunt. And YAYSECKS for Diego Luna and James McAvoy love.

  5. oh was it that song that kinda sounded like a happier version of Fiona Apple? we thought maybe it was Regina Spektor or someone like that.

  6. There must have been more than one JC Penny commericals. i only saw one, towards the beginning, and it used that Zombies song, which absolutely shocked me.

  7. Wow. This was a bitch to find. As Dan mentioned before go to JCPenney site and click on “Every Day Matters.” If you look around, you can actually find the TV spots, this particular one is under the named “Calendar.” And for the name of the actual song, “How Can It Be” by Forever Thursday. Apparently, their stuff is hard to find but apparently on Austrialian iTunes.

    http://www.myspace.com/foreverthursdaymusic

  8. Henry: i totally laughed at the ben affleck intro too!
    Emily blunt had my favorite dress of the night
    did anyone else notice diego luna and gael garcia bernal sat next to each other. those guys are the hottest bff.
    Fred: whats this butch cassidy song your talking about?

  9. Ok, I looked into a little more, the “band” is called “Forever Thursday”, but it seems like it was original music created by a company that creates music for commercials– Nylon. They used singer Melanie Horsnell for the vocals

  10. Hey MMA: I used to love your blog back in that year they call 2003, but haven’t checked it in a dog’s age.

    My first impression is one of uh, slight embarrassment:

    It’s James McAvoy not McAvory, it’s Mr. Tumnus not Tumnas; Seinfeld nor Sienfeld…Since when have you shed your wit and spelling abilities?

    And why does this new design/layout you have going here look so crapilicious these days?

    Let the old MMA come back!!!

  11. the jcpenny song is in itunes – just do a search for Forever Thursday – they only have two songs in the US Store and one of them is the JC Penny song.

  12. Melanie Horsnell -aka- ‘Forever Thursday’ is a carbon copy of Regina Spektor. The solo work of Melanie Horsnell is nearly identical to Regina’s unique vocal style except for a few “folky” moments of unequivalent sound matching. Listening to ‘Forever Thursday, one can assert that not only does her vocals match that of Regina Spektors, but also the music sounds identical too. The worse thing about all this is…”the song is amazing”, lol. DAMN YOU, MELANIE HORSNELL!

  13. Melanie Horsnell aka “Forever Thursday” is a total original. The song “How can it be”was created and then picked up by Nylon for the JC Penney campaign. Its available on itunes.
    Melanie has released her debut album which is now available on USA itunes and Aussie itunes called “The adventures of…”

    I can tell you Melanie has been singing and playing guitar since age 6 and writes and performs her music regularly on stages around Australia, Asia and Europe.
    links for Forever Thursday and the JC Penney song
    http://www.myspace.com/foreverthursdaymusic
    links for Melanie Horsnell
    http://www.myspace.com/melaniehorsnell
    and her website
    http://www.melaniehorsnell.com

  14. melanie just said sorry! and she said she bought reginas record last week cause every one keeps telling her she sounds like her. and she likes it.
    ok ok, i’m her sister but what else does a sister do but google her sister!
    i can guarantee she’s sounded like that though all her life, if someone pays me enough i’ll upload a video of her singing john denver in a talent quest when she was 14.. he he he

  15. the commercial i am thinking about is the one that starts out with a girl pulling a rabbit out of a hat then another girl jumping out of the telephone booth…. its by regina spektor and the song is called music box!

    cheers

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