Pass the Bucket: New Guitar God = John Mayer?

Uh… so yesterday I was walking down the street when I noticed a poster for the new issue of Rolling Stone pasted up on the side of a plywood wall. The cover line read, “The Top 20 [sic] The New Guitar Gods [sic]”.

So who was on the cover of the daring proclamation? Uh… JOHN MAYER as “Slowhand Jr.”, of course. WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?

rolling stone

As you can see above, the cover photo he’s shot from above, lying in the middle of John “The Visionary” Frusciante of the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Derek “The Jam King” Trucks (of the Derek Trucks Band), clutching his guitar over his chest a la Xtina circa 2002:

It all reeks of mediocrity. Zzzzz. Yawn. Chris Music Snob was equally upset by the cover.

I don’t care how much you want to dress him up in cool duds and style his hair and wrap the latest big-boobed ingenue around his arm. He will forever live in my mind as the man who dared to make strides for Casual Fridays by perform at the 2003 Grammys WEARING KHAKI PANTS:

Oh well. But I think of all people, blogaholic John Mayer is laughing the hardest about this ridiculous title.

Published by Laura

I run The Modern

9 replies on “Pass the Bucket: New Guitar God = John Mayer?”

  1. He is a very great guitarist though. Easily the best guitarist of the mainstream musicians who Rolling Stone caters to. Sure his songs have been incredibly sappy in the past, but when he plays his blues stuff (a la his most recent album), it’s quality stuff.

  2. Effe that! Zakk Wylde… check him out. he is THE guitar god and would blow the skin off of john in about 1 second

  3. Ur all nuts! JCM is a musical genius. He is THE guitar god. He is also extremely hot!!!! I am sure after he tires of Jessica’s body being that she has no brain, he’ll be done with her. He probably just feels sorry for her. I think playing in khakis was a perfect statement. Pants, Khakis, no pants, whatever! He is a gift to the world. Hope you are all listening.

  4. when Buddy Guy and Eric Clapton want you in their company, I dont care what kind of pants you’re wearing, you’re one of the best and thats that!.. you dont have to like his music but when you see him improving with those great and makeing them say awe, its better then having 1000 top 40 hits!!.. Slowhand Jr is the perfect fit, listen to him play “empty arms” by SRV and you’ll understand

  5. absolulty

    fact is he’s a brilliant guitarist. and yes he may be mainstream, and ime sorry if some of you ‘real’ guitarists out ther find that annoying, but the fact is he is good

    very good

    he’s played with the greats and he knows it. he knows how lucky he is, but he also knows how to play guitar and how to play it well

    and if you watch him, you can tell he loves it

  6. get your head out of the toilet john mayer is infact a disgusntingly insane player his performances at such places as the “crossroads” festivle is a perfect example of just how insane the guy can get sure there are many great guitar players, the only differnce is mayer does it in a way that no one can replicate. so before you go “dising” a great like mayer actaully listen to the music that gave im this tittle not the music that gave him the opprotunity to showcase his skills. (aka. the room for square album)

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