Ryan Adams Has His Site Updated By Witches, Raps with Drunk Santa, and Releases 12 Drunk Country Songs

Oh. My. God. Ryan Adams is a retarded genius. Have you heard all the crazy raps/ country songs that have been on his official website since yesterday morning?

ryan adams
There are 12 30-50-second clips with country songs, and there are 2 full-length raps–currently being referred to as “Drunk Santa” and “The Dot Com Rap” on the RyanAdams.org message boards.

For all of you who have wondered “Kevin Costner dot com, wtf?”, here are some choice excerpts (transcribed to the best of my ability–if you know better, please correct):

“The Dot Com Rap”

Updated by witches/ This website’s updated by witches, witches, witches, and me/ Weird witches roll across and leap with their hair on fire and their nails long and they’re screaming at animals and people are going crazy and they need to take a break from recording/ Aw sh-t it’s a long record. [MORE LYRICS]

“Drunk Santa”

Yo check it/ Drunk Santa got a sardine on his face/ He’s a lonely little dog just floating through space/ Ballin’ some change tryin’ make it in the world/ The rat crew’s coming tryin’ steal it from you, huh?/ Oh Drunk Santa, oh/ (Don’t do it Drunken Santa)/ Oh Drunk Santa, oh/ (Santa don’t do it, don’t do it Drunken Santa)

“Dear Burger King”

Dear Burger King, I’ve been drinking too much this week/ ???? /Yeah ’cause I’m feeling good to go out and drink a whole f-cking lot tonight/ Get Mary Ann

“I’m Drunk as Hell, Again”

I’m drunk as hell, again/ Drunk as hell, again/ {moaning} …call me back later…

“Dear Officer David Livingston”

Dear, Dear Officer David Livingston/ You’re a good man/ Forest ranger/ Working hard to provide for your family you used to be a policeman/ Not to compromise the forest/ When I was drunk/ Aw f-ck/ I set the forest on fire/ David Livingston forest ranger of the year/ I’m sorry as f-ck/ I didn’t mean

We’re a Wreck

We’re a wreck/ We’re a wreck away from getting wrecked/ But now you’re dead

Wanna listen for yourself? Hit the downloads:

DOWNLOAD: 1-6 Ryan-Adams.com Country Songs

DOWNLOAD: 7-12 Ryan-Adams.com Country Songs

DOWNLOAD: “Drunk Santa” by Ryan Adams

DOWNLOAD: “Dot Com Rap” by Ryan Adams

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