UUUGgghhh. I just listened to some of the new tracks off of Paris Hilton’s new album and I feel absolutely sick. The songs do not have one ounce of originality to them. Every single song sounds like a cheap rip-off of something else. It’s the aural equivalent of watching a little girl play dress up. This crap is so worthless and boring to listen to that it’s making me hanker for some “Popozao”. At least that was entertaining.
If you really want to waste about 10 minutes of your life like I did, go ahead and download the tracks from this post on ONTD.
“I Want You” lifts the first bars off of Frankie Valli’s “Grease”, and adds in country music flavored tangs to throw off the scent/stench.
“Heartbeat”. Hey Paris, Cyndi Lauper called and she wants her royalties for this re-named cover of “Time After Time”.
Just because Gwen Stefani is on musical leave because of her pregnancy doesn’t mean that Paris Hilton should be allowed to try to immitate her in “Turn You On”.
“Stars Are Blind” but Paris Hilton is deaf. Also I don’t ever want to hear Paris try be be all “The Tide Is High” but instead of the cute and coy lyrics of Blondie‘s song, PH sings “we could make it nice and naughty”.
I can’t even begin to talk about “Jealousy”, which is obviously a song about Nicole Richie–and has to be the most pathetic attempt for attention since Nick Lachey‘s “What’s Left of Me”. BTW- the strings section does NOT make your song classier in any way.
“Turn It Up” makes me want to turn it down. Missy Elliot meets Nelly Furtado minus talent and catchy hooks.
Seriously, this crap needs to stop. NOW.
As a reward for anyone who bothered to subject themselves to that sh-t, go ahead and download James Murphy and Tim Sweeney‘s Radio Mixes Spring 2006 courtesy of DFA.