Rapid Fire Captions

Rachel kept sending me photos from People.com and AOL, and I kept writing stupid captions for them:

The Blonde Stick and Charlton Heston: “That baby is so wrinkly–and it’s face is all like, ‘Eh, don’t touch me bizzotch. Whatever’.”

Kanye West: “Um, he’s totally Rainbow Brite.”

Will Smith at the Wailing Wall: “Is the dude behind him w/ the shades his security detail? Haha. He’s wearing a Kangulke.”

Jessica Simpson: “Happy Kwanza, y’all.”

The Raconteurs: “Patrick looks like a grown-up Muldoon.”

9 Replies to “Rapid Fire Captions”

  1. i love that this is filed under “gossip, celebrities.”
    gossip + celebrities = rachel’s entire life.

    you totally called moses charlton heston. i see what you’re doing there.

    mmMmMmmmMm muldoons.
    p!@td > fob.

  2. dude, totes true about patrick being a grown-up Muldoon

    what if there is the huge conspiracy and Patrick is ACTUALLY the muldoons dad and that crazy guy on drums is just some random guy they found on the street. OOH gossip.


  3. Any grown-ass man who lets people refer to him as “Little” Jack without getting all weird about it is completely endearing in my book.

    I bet Patrick still gets carded.

  4. Hi really amazing blog

    Could you post again the music Red and Black from Muldoons?…i tryed to download in a old post but the file has expired


  5. The Muldoons were genetically engineered from Detroit-area muscians’ DNA by Jack White — so technically Patrick could, in fact, be a grown-up Muldoon.

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