How Not to Rock the Cradle of Love

Here’s a new rule for your “Indie Rock Handbook of Love”: THOU SHALT NOT ASSOCIATE HIM OR HERSELF WITH A GREAT SONG AND/OR ARTIST.

I think anyone you date should only really love bands/songs you don’t really like all that much–because then when you guys break up, it won’t be so bad avoiding songs that remind you of them.

Perhaps on your second or third date with them you should make them show you their iTunes playlist and see what songs rank highest for “Most Played,” because you’ll then know those are the top 10 songs you are going to associate them for the duration of your relationship. He or she is going to play those songs over and over–when you guys are kissing, when he/she is wearing your favorite t-shirt and spills pizza sauce all over it, when he/she is yelling at you for something, when you walk in on him/her having sex with your best friend, etc.

I’m not alone on this one. I have a friend who will dash to the stereo in the middle of even the hottest and heaviest of petting session if he hears The Smiths come seeping through the speakers. “I will not have them ruined,” he defiantly told me. Another friend pleaded with her boyfriend to stop what he was saying in the midst of him breaking up with her–not because she didn’t want him to break up with her, but because he was quoting a Johnny Cash song, and she was not going to have him forever ruin her association to The Man in Black.

Of course it never really works out that way in real life, does it? You’re definitely going to have slip ups…but I like that rule in theory.

6 thoughts on “How Not to Rock the Cradle of Love”

  1. brilliant advice, salient and poignant.., save the music and/or keep the love alive

  2. i think you should also not date anyone who likes the same music as you so that you don’t run into them every time you leave the fucking house. i hate that. i vow not to do it… but it’s hard.

  3. I say play all of your favorite songs for every girl/boy you date. This way you won’t associate any particular song with a particular person. You’ll just have this cumulative, super-depressing feeling when you listen to this music.

  4. A friend once suggested telling the next person you’re hooking up with about the artist/song in question and then asking them if they’ll hook up with you to them to replace the memory. It’s cheap and tawdry but if they’re nice, they’ll think it’s sweet you asked and everyone wins.

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