Old People Want to Be Loved Like the Rest of Us…Or So I’ve Been Told

Check out this guide to picking up chicks by Vice‘s Gavin McInnes. It’s kind of an extention of the Vice Guide to Picking Up Chicks. I read it and I can tell you it’s pretty much all true. Please don’t cry. Example:

SVEDKA: But, let’s say you’re a 30-something guy with a beard and soft around the middle, like us. And you want to pick up one of those snarky 20-something Suicide Girl types? Have we got any chance?

GAVIN: Okay. I’d say that you’d want to use your journalism or photography, say you’re doing a project like a movie or something, and you want them to be involved. Even if it’s just photographing them, they might be into it. Inviting them to contribute something creatively to this project you’re working on.

SVEDKA: So, come to them as someone who’s an established professional artist in some way, and they’re a budding wanna-be artist who you can appreciate?

GAVIN: Yeah, when you’re old and ugly you need context of some sort. If it’s not fame, it’s your career or something. Obviously, if they want to fuck an attractive guy they can just go next door. That’s why 30-year-old men don’t get booty calls. Or, the girls don’t answer. They reason they want to date guys like us is for long-term relationships. So, as far as tips on getting a 20-year-old just to come over for ya, it’s not gonna happen unless you’re in a movie or a band. But, hey, everyone needs a bassist. Learn to play bass.

1 thought on “Old People Want to Be Loved Like the Rest of Us…Or So I’ve Been Told”

  1. hahahahahahahaha.
    I’ve known a couple of guys like that. Hell, my last almost significant other was a guy like that. “oh hello, 20-year-old blue-haired college undergrad girl. I’m a decade and a half older than you and not very attractive, but listen, I’m a somewhat accomplished film maker! Isn’t that impressive, isn’t it, isn’t it?”
    huh. why’d I drop him again?

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