The Modern Age

What is it about French bands that really brings out the weirdos?

The December 1st Phoenix/Inouk/Benzos show, all the crazies were out in full force.

The first set of crazies we witness was this pair of girls up front during the Benzos set. Have you ever seen anyone do an interpretive dance at the Bowery Ballroom? Yeah, neither had we, but this one girl with short brown hair, a short sweater and a white shirt (with the tails hanging out) was up front doing a series of movements that were either funky imitations of the Robot dance, or a jellybean had slid down her pants and she was trying to get it out.

We dunno. There were just a lot of arms flailing at 90 degree angles and wiggling below the hips. Which we guess would be fine, if we were on the set of a Jamiroquai video. But we weren’t. We were up front, watching Benzos, whose music sounds like Radiohead redux–basically an unoffending mix of harmonious blibs and guitar chords. “What had Benzos done to deserve fans that danced so poorly?,” we asked ourselves. That question has yet to be answered.

But on Benzos, the weird thing about this band is not only do they unabashedly sound like they wished they had been sprung from the loins of Thom Yorke, their keyboardist/singer, Mike Ortega, looks just like a young Jonny Greenwood. We don’t know if this was done on purpose or what, but we have to say that it’s a little bit creepy. It’s kinda like when people start to look like their pets. Maybe since Benzos want to be Radiohead so badly they’re slowly morphing into looking like them.

Anyway, our favorite part of Benzos is Matt Ortega, the guy that stands on the far left-hand side of the stage. The night we saw him, he was dressed in a sweatshirt hoodie and baggy jeans, hovering over a glowing computer screen. Some might argue that he was adjusting levels, using synths or doing something remotely musical on the laptop, but we know the truth. We know on the Benzos site it says that Matt (who is Mike’s younger brother) was added to the band to “man the electronics and live soundscaping.” Riiiight. Here’s the real story:

One day, the guys were rehearsing in their Tribeca apartment when Matt came over to the pad to hang out with his brother. Being a fly by the seat of his pants sort of young man, Matt didn’t call before arriving at the door of his sibling’s abode. When the doorbell rang, Mike put down his guitar and went to the door to see who it was.

Peering through the peephole, he saw who it was and hollered back to the guys, “Yo, it’s Matty at the door. Keep playing guys, I’ll just let him in.” So Mike let Matt in and told him that he and his band were rehearsing and asked Matt if he could find something to keep himself occupied while they practiced. “Sure,” he said, and he held up his hand to say hello to the rest of the band as he walked past them to get to the computer that was stationed at a table directly behind them.

Mike rejoined the band and they all continued to play, when 5 minutes into the rest of their rehersal they heard electronic bliping noises. “What the hell is that noise?,” shouted Christian Celaya. The band stopped playing and listened carefully to where the source of the sound was coming from. The noises continued despite the fact that the music had stopped…but it was coming from behind them. They all turned around and saw that Matt was absorbed in the game of Space Invaders he was playing on the computer, which was hooked up to a pair of speakers.

“Holy crap!,” shouted out Mike, “that’s awesome! I love those blips and beeps.” Roused out of his Space Invaders trance by Mike’s shouting, Matt now realized the band had stopped playing music and that everyone was staring at him. “Oh, I’m sorry guys! I didn’t mean to mess up your practice. I’ll just go into the bedroom and watch some TV.” “NO!,” yelled Mike. “KEEP PLAYING SPACE INVADERS!” Then Mike picked up a guitar and started playing a simple riff under the sounds of Space Invaders’ electronic beeps. Everyone followed suit, picking up their instruments and begining to build their part around the blips of Space Invaders. Benzos had been realized in it’s most mature form.

So don’t be fooled by the fancy title of “synths/programming” they give Matt. What the fuck does “programming” mean for a live band anyway? They really mean “plays video games during the show.” Sophisticated electronic modulating and metering our asses! Pay attention the next time you see the Benzos play, that dude Matt is totally just playing old computer games onstage. It’s totally true.

On Phoenix. Since it was their first show in New York ever, the crowd was totally apeshit. Lots of people with funny accents who looked overly anxious to see their beloved French Pop music. Needless to say it was fun, and Phoenix dress like a cross between Williamsburg hipsters (conductor’s hats, army colored clothing) and A.P.C. devotees. Weird.