The week that was started off last Thursday at Le Prom de Ultragrrrl thrown by SPIN (see right). Stepping inside Rothko, we instantly felt like we stepped into indie prom heaven. Boys in penquin suits and ladies in fancy dress. The Killers provided live music, all the while decked out in formal attire. It was awesome.

Let us note that Rothko has like no ventilation system whatsoever. Because of that, everyone ran outside as soon as The Killers played their last note. 45 minutes after we stepped outside we were thrown on top of a car and molested, had our ass grabbed, and had our ass kicked. This is what happens when you let friends drink vodka.

Friday it rained like a motherfucker. Just complete downpour which thrwarted plans to go see Farenheit 9/11. Instead watched Unhook the Stars and One Night In Paris. One Night In Paris was absolutely wretched. The dude, what’s his name? Rick Soloman? He does commentary before each of the four segments on the DVD. He’s all like, “Oh in this one Paris is real shy because it was our first time filming”, blabhalbhalbah. What an asshole! Paris darling, why you keep pickin’ up trash? (See Nick Carter.)

Saturday while eating brunch we gawked over the prettiest boy in a New York band then tried to see Farenheit 9/11 again. Unsuccessfully. We walked over 100 blocks and then we went to MisShapes for Karen’s Birthday/Open bar/Killers listening party. The moral of Saturday evening was don’t let us drink vodka, even if we look really cute doing it.

Sunday we finally saw Farenheit 9/11. Our “President” is a fucking moron. Later we watched the worst movie to come out last year, Love Actually. Who let that piece of crap get produced? Dear lord, it was awful!

Monday we saw Surefire headline Mercury Lounge, which was totally awesome. There were totally groupies up in the front. It was totally rad.

Last night we saw The Streets and Dizzee Rascal. We have no fucking clue about anything Dizzee Rascal said but it was fun. The Streets were superfly, and the last song of the encore was “Don’t Mug Yourself”. Mikey threw raw vegetables at the audience. Hooray.

RAPPIN’ DON’T PAY THE BILLS

Can someone please pay Dizzee Rascal?

This 23-year-old school teacher is hot for her teenage students; Norweigans have sex.

How many airheads does it take to feed a village? One, if that airhead is Jessica Simpson.

Ultragrrrl: International Prom Queen.


In the totally totally awesome category: Michel Gondry spotted setting up White Stripes drum kit on 14th Street last week. Link from J.Go.

SUPERSIZE ME

Colin Farrell’s penis is so enormous that his nude scenes from the upcoming moving, Home At the End of the World, were removed because his manhood proved to be too distracting to audiences during test screenings.

The New York Times devotes time and effort into exploring the world of recreational use of erectile dysfunction drugs.

New York magazine gives the low-down on going down.

UNRELATED ITEMS: Surefire @ Mercury next Monday. The Streets @ Irving June 29, 30. Claire Danes and Billy “Dumped My Pregnant Girlfriend” Crudup acting suspiciously together for a couple who’s “not together”; Mandy Moore: Maxium airbrush victim.


EAT MARY-KATE, EAT!

THE ERA OF MR. MOMS

Daddies coaxed into being all that they can be. Klosterman on Metallica.

ZZzzz

Totally tired. We hate new cell phones.

2 nights ago saw Blue Sparks @ Sin-e. Totally awesome! It got totally crazy at the end. The scariest moment was when Phil lifted the guitar over his head, but luckily he did not smash it. Opening band Wolfbait did an awesome cover of “Ignition” by R.Kelly. Woke up next morning singing it head. Saw Peter Panda via Long Island via Chicago at the show.

Last night saw Doc Marshalls at Rodeo Bar. Also an excellent evening of music, although our poor little eyes were getting a wee bit tired due to the late hour. Peanuts.

Walking down 3rd Ave, saw this girl wearing suede pistachio-colored mid-calf boots. Was like “what the hell is that?!? What crackhead would wear that?” Looked up, and it was dear New York Doll. Amazing.

FRIENDS, FAMILY, AND OTHER PEOPLE WE MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE MADE OUT WITH

On Tuesday, The Blue Sparks are having their record release party at Sin-e. Features “special guest” at 10pm. $3 BROOKLYN LAGER ALL NIGHT!, June 29-30 B-Boy Heaven will take place when The Streets and Dizzee Rascal team up at Irving Plaza, Phantom Planet return to Irving on July 12…this time with Ambulance LTD, wet your lips ’cause Elefant headline Bowery Ballroom on July 20-21, The Dirtbombs headline Bowery on July 24, and the most awesome thing we’ve heard all month: Surefire is headlining at their very own Mercury Lounge show! $8. The Shore are the first band to go on.

Also, please check out The Fever remix contest! Entries must be in by July 2; and The Killers’ album, Hot Fuss, comes out this week.

Ok, so a lot of people had birthdays this weekend, and a lot of people will be having birthdays within 7 days, so here’s a shout out to all: Audrey, Matt, Vince: Happy old days. You’re one year closer to death. WooH!

This weekend we sequestered ourselves off from the general public, as not to infect anyone and to heal our wounds. As a result, we watched a lot of bad/and or cheesy TV and movies. We watched like 4 episodes of “Sex and the City” (Season 4), Mona Lisa Smile, that WB Superstars show, Pepsi Chart with Phantom Planet on (yay!), “Crime and Punishment”, and some golf tournament. But we also re-watched Run Lola Run, which is one of our favorite movies of all time. You know, we used to say Trainspotting was our favorite movie of all time, but maybe it isn’t. We totally love RLR, it’s just so awesome and cool. Back when Franka Potenta wasn’t fake dating Elijah “I’m Not Gay” Wood.

UNRELATED LINKS: View the winners of the NY Times college photography contest; Read about Andrea Fraser’s “Untitled” in which she has sex with a patron in the 60 minute video; examining the conflicting feminine ideals; Awesome group of Brit MP3s over at Teaching the Indie Kids to Dance Again; New York Times inadvertently reveal that Interpol have a stylist while reviewing the problem-plagued The Delancy; The Walkmen talk to The Guardian.

ATTACK OF THE TEENAGE RIOT!

Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen’s high school yearbook photos revealed by J.Go.

Why do Tilly and the Wall look ridiculously cute in Jasper’s photos? After listening to a few of the songs on their Web site, we’re shocked to say that we have taken a liking to this upbeat twee pop from…OMAHA! (And Conor Oberst-endorsed nonetheless!!!!) Infectious, sugary, cutesy, whimsical, ridiculously indie. Save us from ourselves!

FUCK YOU, SUMMER!

Ok, it’s not EVEN technically summer, but we already hate it. Why? Because we were attacked by some bug last night, bestowing 9 bug bites on various parts of our person. And everyone in our office is sick, therefore all the germs keep circulating. Our boss’ sister brought up some hideous cold from the South, and we’ve been passing it along to one another all week.

As you may remember from last year, or the year before, the start of the summer season is always initiated by the “step on the inside of our sandal” landmind. Seriously, is there a big fat sticker on the inside of our insole that says “step right here”? Atch!

MORE HORRIBLE THINGS: What the hell happened to Natalie? Did she suddenly go blind in the last couple months? Is this all Gael’s doing? This is so…Angelina Jolie right after her divorce; Why is Britney Spears morphing into the Happy D Flavas doll?; Jack and Renee not only still on, but rumored to be getting married by the end of the year? What?

NOT SO HORRIBLE, BUT NOT SO GREAT: Sondre’s new video for “Days That Are Over“. It’s cute, but overly cute… Does Sondre have a personality crisis that he keeps having to have multiple roles in his videos? It’s getting kinda annoying…

SO INCREDIBLY AWESOME: The totally amazing Yeah Yeah Yeahs stage show for the MTV Movie Awards was designed by Spike Jonze.

WEIRD LEFTOVERS: Ryan Adams’s site continues to be weird, but has some nice streaming audio up; Cam and J-Tim still on; You’ve heard the horrors, now see the pictures: The LES disaster known as The Delancy.

THESE DAYS IT’S ONLY DRY COUGHS, NO DRY HUMPS

We keep coughing like all the time. What the hell? Dry coughs. Earlier this week we were sneezing up a storm–we’re totally allergic to our office. But we’re back to the coughing now. We’re also really itchy. Why do we always get sick right around Audrey’s birthday. Why has she hexxed us with the annual summer cold?

Ultragrrrl, temporarily RIP 2004.

Other awesomeness this weekend: SHOUT! 7th Year Anniversary extravaganza(s). Saturday @ Bowery Ballroom, Sunday @ Bar 13. Saturday is Prom Night @ MisShapes (and also Audrey’s bday party).