SORTA UNDERAGE BOY BAND

Saw Surefire this weekend in evil Brooklyn… at The Hook. The Hook is in the middle of nowhere. It’s a really nice venue, but why is it in the middle of nowhere? It’s like why you gotta be all up in the middle of nowhere? Anyway, Surefire were radtastic. They even played 2 songs with Dennis Cahlo. Whatever one that sounded like a Strokes song, that one was awesome. Look how cute they are!

We always get really sick to our stomachs when we watch Surefire. Why are they so young, and why are they so awesome? It’s like you just want to puke yourself because they’re so good. Totally could be the next Coldplay/Travis/Phantom Planet… and we hear they’re UNSIGNED. Get the A&R monkeys working!

RELATED LINK: Lil’ G ‘n’ R

AMERICA’S NEXT TOP MODEL

It’s Yoanna! Why the white girl always gotta win?

UNRELATED LINK: THE FACE shut down by Emap; Damon Albarn rocks the gran-dad style; The UK as International testing ground for rock ‘n’ roll; Dave Grohl’s playlist includes Air, YYYs, Britney, and Paris Hilton; Gwen Stefani = gorgeous; Not only to Oprah’s people like talking about “tossing salad” and “rainbow parties” on her TV show, they like putting it up on her Web site too (first link from Jason); Funny senators (Link from Stereogum).

GUESS WHO’S THE JACKASS



Action Sports Tour takes a stab at the X Games money pot.

SXSWHAT?

Mediaeater has up some shots from the days o’ fun down in TX.

WE CAN’T BELIEVE WE’RE GOING TO BROOKLYN…HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?

So get this– We just heard of this place called “Brooklyn.” At first we were all like, “What’s that?!?” Then we were all like, “Ooohhh…” Then we actually planned on going there this weekend because our favorite border-line under age band, Surefire, is playing there. “There” being The Hook, some new venue in the bowels of “The Other Bourough.” Surefire go on at 10. Before them is Denis Cahlo and after them is Dirty On Purpose. It’s $7, 18+. We’ll be the ones knocking 18-year-old girls over screaming “get outs of the ways, bizotches!” in order to get to the front of the stage.

WE DON’T EVEN WANT TO KNOW

Courtney Love goes totally insane in NYC. (You MUST check out Eva’s pics! We swear we saw these photos, or really similar ones on Access Hollywood.) We watched Newlyweds.

Furry coffee holders. Moo. Links from The Real Janelle.

Bob Dylan and Jack White sing “Ball and a Biscuit” together in Detroit! Not very good quality, but here’s the song (right click “SAVE”). Thanks to Ryan!

WHO NEEDS ENEMIES WHEN YOU’VE GOT ROCK CRITICS

Review of The Cooper Temple Clause at Bowery.

LATINOS LOVE DIEGO, WHATEVS LOVES THE VON BONDIES

Alyse talks about her Elefant experience last week in LA: “Oh, i did end up seeing elefant last week. i liked ‘em. though the crowd was more hilarious than usual. it’s was like 90% latino. it was like an interpol show! it was like a morrissey concert! it was nuts!”

In other news, Whatevs loves the Von Bondies. Now let’s rewind to January 2004. We had gone to the most famous apartment on the Lower East Side for the singular purpose of meeting Mark Whatevs. We DISTINCTLY REMEMBER having a quite HEATED argument with said Whatevs over the Von Bondies. We claimed that the Von Bondies were a great band. Whatevs said they were not so great…perhaps even stating that they were HACKS. HE TOTALLY DID. Something along the lines that the Von Bondies were riding on the coattails of the White Stripes. We threw a fit, we probably screamed something like “shut up you motherfucking fuckhead” or something like that. We fumed. But now Whatevs is all ABOUT the Von Bondies. So suspicious!

BEST SHOW EVER, OBVS!

Ohmigod we’re FREAKING OUT! MUSE IS PLAYING BOWERY BALLROOM ON APRIL 14, sez Ultra. We seriously think we shat our pants. HOLY FUCK, MUUUUSE!!!!! Yo, if you haven’t ran over old ladies to get a copy of Absolution on sale at Virgin for 12.99, we seriously don’t know what’s wrong with you. It’s the best album on earth!!!!!!! And aside from Matt Bellamy, we have NO IDEA what MUSE look like, so we’re not even basing this on any cute boy factor. (Not that Matt isn’t cute, he’s just not our type… although he could pass for a 15 year old boy… hmm…)


YOU LOVE MUSE, YOU JUST DON’T KNOW IT!

Remember when MUSE were supposed to play Mercury Lounge on September 10, 2001 and then the date magically disappeared only a week or two before it was supposed to happen? Then on September 11, 2001 someone totally blew up the World Trade Center? IT’S A TOTAL CONSPIRACY!

We swear Ultra is not holding a gun to our heads and making us type this: WE LOVE MUSE!!!!!! So good. As Whatevs would say, “So best, total buzz, obvs.”

You know what else is great? PHANTOM PLANET’S NEW ALBUM THAT SOUNDS NOTHING LIKE PHANTOM PLANET. Oh it’s so good! At first we were all like “Eh, it’s sorta ok.” Then we bought a brain and were like “HOLY CRAP THIS IS AWESOME!” You love Alex Greenwald, but you don’t love his long hair.

Remember when Alex Greenwald was that really hot guy on the GAP commercial where they sing Madonna’s “Dress You Up”? Totals.

FRENCH STUFF, GIRL STUFF, AND GAY STUFF

The French roll out films about *gasp* money; Terry Richardson gets a mouthfull of…something; Dude from the O.C. recreates a typical Wed night in New York (links from Beat Royalty); Rufus Wainwright talks about how he walks around his apartment naked; Surfer/hippie/skater style (“dumpster style“) new for spring; Times Square to turn 100 next month; Racy teen mags don’t turn girls into sluts–that’s probably your fault; The dirtiest band in rock ‘n’ roll, Jet, talk about how drinking nearly killed them and how groupies aren’t so great: “The girls that do throw themselves at us are generally not the kind of girls we want. As a general rule women that make themselves that readily available are questionable.”; Are gossip blogs like Gawker good for the leaders of tomorrow? “Yes, if we intend for our children to grow strong from sucking bile instead of milk.”; Why people go cult-crazy over the Moz; the incredibly cute Norweigian Sondre Lerche (whose album, Two Way Monologue is now in stores) is in the Spring 2004 issue of Black Book; the incredibly cute Mexican Diego Luna is on the cover of Teen Vogue; More sex talk with Liz Phair (link from Lindsayism); Andre 3000 doesn’t have his lady friend shake it like a Polaroid, but he does take some pictures… (NSFW, link from Popbitch).