JUST WHEN YOU THOUGH “AVERAGE JOE” WAS CRAP…



It turns out to be the best show ever! Our most favorite new “hunky” player is Jason. Jason is the missing member of BB Mak. How creepy is that? Melana thought him so pretty she had to ask him, “Do you only like girls?” because she feared he swung both ways. We’re putting odds on Jason to be the last Joe standing.

LAST WEEK IN E-MAIL…

From: Miss Modernage

Subject: girl e-mail of the day

Date: Wed, 19 Nov 2003 11:17:24 -0500



it’s hard for me to form into words how I feel about Sondre Lerche… well
here are some uttered last night:

“if I were a dude, I’d be gay by now”

“he’s wearing a corduroy suit — GET OUT!”

“ohmigodohmigodhe’ssocute!”

“sondre is like the Aryan, non-drunk version of ed Harcourt”

“::giggle::”

“ohmygod if he gets any cuter I’m going to vomit all over myself”

“bestill my 13-year-old girl heart”



I also grabbed some girls in front of me before the show, shook them and
shouted “OHMYGOD, AREN’T YOU SO EXCITED??!?!!?” they were less than
thrilled by my enthusiasm.



I spent an hour giggling and burying my head in my hands.



Sondre could not get ANY cuter!



We will marry soon.



———-


From: Miss Modernage

Sent: Thu 11/20/2003 11:19 AM

Subject: jack’s not happy

last night jack freaked out on stage

well..

during Boll Weevil, there were dudes crowd surfing (because it IS 1992 and we ARE in Seattle) and he stopped in the middle of the first or second verse and said:

“i’m going to wait until this guy is done” and he pointed to the dude getting thrown over the barrier
he shouted at the guy, “are you having a good time?” then shouted at the audience something like “everyone got out their teen angst?” then scoffed “Let’s all go out and get tattoos”

i could tell he was getting pissed, but i think some ppl were actually like… they thought he was being serious (obviously unaware as to Jack’s hate of anything modern and or NOT “WHITE”)



toward the end of the song (right before the last verse — where he sings about himself) he busted out. He completely stopped the song and yelled “I can’t stand these fucking frat guys crushing everyone’s neck. Here we are having a perfectly good time, and then you have a fucking guy crushing your neck!” then he got off the mic and started pointing his finger and shouting at someone in the audience. I think he said “fuck” more than that.. he said it like 5 or 6 times. I’ve never heard Jack White curse!



i still love sondre!

WOAH, SURFING

Interview with Junior Senior from FREEWilliamsburg; the Man Without a Face (AKA – Jack White) plays Roseland Ballroom, NYC; the reason why we’re so pissed at Billy Crudup is because The Post reported that he’s dumped Mary Louise while she’s 7 1/2 months pregnant with his child for Claire Danes. Gross; Keith made us watch this video about iPods dying 18 months after you purchase them; Paris Hilton’s London nightclub; Timbaland hot for Coldplay; Winona Ryder for freedom; Jamie Oliver cooks; “I Spent A Night In Paris (Want to See the Video?)” t-shirt (link from Whatevs.org).