OTHER INTERESTING THINGS

Rufus Wainwright reviewed.

BEAT ROYALTY CALLS IT THE “HIPSTER SLAVE TRADE.” BEAT ROYALTY IS RIGHT.

New article in the New York Times informs us that both Vice magazine and The Strokes are “cool” and “hip.” It’s hard to count on how many levels this particular article makes us want to grab a bucket and vomit up all of our Thanksgiving weekend meals. We guess this article works if you actually believe that rubbing elbows with Jack Black is something to write home about or bringing home a deck signed by a shitty band is somehow awesome. We’d like to write a companion piece called “How I Was a Retarded Wannabe In My Youth” or “Getting Paid Money for Doing Work Rocks Harder than Acting Like a Jackass All Summer” or “How I Broke Into the Business of Making No Dinero for Life Because I Thought Being Cool Was Enough” or “How I Spent My Summer Sleeping On My Girlfriend’s Couch Because I’m Poor… Until She Dumped Me.” Didn’t anyone ever read Catcher in the Rye? THE ARTICLE IN QUESTION: “The Intern as Hipster” by Sarah Schmidt.

CONSUME, CONSUME, CONSUME!

Be just like us this holiday weekend; read, view, and listen to these things:

Books: The Sound and the Fury: A Rock’s Backpages Reader, Edited by Barney Hoskyns; Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs : A Low Culture Manifesto, By Chuck Klosterman

Magazines: SPIN with 2003 Band of the Year, Coldplay, on the cover; Thrasher; Interior Design; NME Big Book 2003

Movies: The Crime of Padre Amaro; Bowling for Columbine; Sweet Sixteen; 28 Days Later; Elling; Punch Drunk Love

Music: Liz Phair, Liz Phair; Room on Fire, The Strokes; Faces Down, Sondre Lerche

TV: “Law and Order”

Web sites: SPIN’s Readers Poll; Ligne Roset

WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES

A new Strokes article in The Observer proves that England doesn’t have fact-checkers… because according to the piece Jim Merlis is “Jim Merlin” and Fab is dating both Drew Barrymore and a Pierce sister. Link from Whatevs.

AI, MAMMI, LEMMI GET ANOTHER LICK!


Holy crap-ola! Kelis is dirrrty! If you’ve heard her single, “Milkshake,” you ain’t heard nothin’ yet. Her new album, Tasty is chock-full-o’ nasty. Shake yo groove thing!

More on Jack White getting pissed off at the New York crowd… from people who remember it better than we do:

Only towards the end did security stomp through the crowd and remove just 1 of the idiots. One poor girl had to be taken out of the crowd she was so banged up. Then during the encore, Jack announces they got 1 song left for us – It’s Boll Weevil.

They begin – and the crowd surfing has started to pick up. Jack tells Meg to stop. He says “We’ll just wait until this guy finishes (referring to a crowd surfer)”. Then he goes “So Everyone get their teenage angst out tonight?????!!!!!!” Of course he was being sarcastic but the idiots didn’t realize it. Bollweevil resumes. Then during a solo, that’s it. Jack has had enough. He throws down his guitar and leans over the stage and starts screaming at a crowd surfer. He gets back to Mic:

“I am sick of these Frat Fuckers crashing our gig! People are just trying to have a good time, not have some Asshole crash down on their neck!!!” He takes a breath. “And now the last verse, which is about myself”. And the show ends smoothly.

Not kidding! (Don’t worry, it’s work-safe!) “Who’s the dude?,” you may ask? That’s Bob Kronbauer. “Who the fuck is that?,” you may ask? Go to Crailtap for more info. RELATED LINKS: Spike Jonze Top 5; Spike’s articles in Dirt. (BTW — We saw Virgin Suicides this weekend. Woah, awesome!)

We really need to do a write-up of the White Stripes and Sondre Lerche show(s) we saw… but we’re very lazy.

But we do have the time to say that New York hates Whirlwind Heat. The only applause they garner from the NY audience is when they say “coming up next, The White Stripes” and when David Swanson announces, “This is our last song.” So sad for us… seeing how we’re the only people on the East Coast who like them. That said, we can’t really blame anyone for hating Whirlwind Heat… their live set *can* get a bit tedious and… irritating if you’re not into the music. And it’s not like they’re going out trying to be super-accessible to a cranky post-Autolux crowd.

The first night WH wore some t-shirt we’d never seen before… a black and white picture of a Japanese girl with white Japanese writing on the side. On the 20th they wore white Terry Richardson shirts (someone said they might have spied him in the audience?). That pervy Richardson + WH image was projected in back of them. Needless to say, the crowd wasn’t having any of it and booed them both nights.

Poor Whirlwind Heat. They take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’.

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGH “AVERAGE JOE” WAS CRAP…

It turns out to be the best show ever! Our most favorite new “hunky” player is Jason. Jason is the missing member of BB Mak. How creepy is that? Melana thought him so pretty she had to ask him, “Do you only like girls?” because she feared he swung both ways. We’re putting odds on Jason to be the last Joe standing.

LAST WEEK IN E-MAIL…

From: Miss Modernage

Subject: girl e-mail of the day

Date: Wed, 19 Nov 2003 11:17:24 -0500



it’s hard for me to form into words how I feel about Sondre Lerche… well
here are some uttered last night:

“if I were a dude, I’d be gay by now”

“he’s wearing a corduroy suit — GET OUT!”

“ohmigodohmigodhe’ssocute!”

“sondre is like the Aryan, non-drunk version of ed Harcourt”

“::giggle::”

“ohmygod if he gets any cuter I’m going to vomit all over myself”

“bestill my 13-year-old girl heart”



I also grabbed some girls in front of me before the show, shook them and
shouted “OHMYGOD, AREN’T YOU SO EXCITED??!?!!?” they were less than
thrilled by my enthusiasm.



I spent an hour giggling and burying my head in my hands.



Sondre could not get ANY cuter!



We will marry soon.



———-

From: Miss Modernage

Sent: Thu 11/20/2003 11:19 AM

Subject: jack’s not happy

last night jack freaked out on stage

well..

during Boll Weevil, there were dudes crowd surfing (because it IS 1992 and we ARE in Seattle) and he stopped in the middle of the first or second verse and said:

“i’m going to wait until this guy is done” and he pointed to the dude getting thrown over the barrier
he shouted at the guy, “are you having a good time?” then shouted at the audience something like “everyone got out their teen angst?” then scoffed “Let’s all go out and get tattoos”

i could tell he was getting pissed, but i think some ppl were actually like… they thought he was being serious (obviously unaware as to Jack’s hate of anything modern and or NOT “WHITE”)



toward the end of the song (right before the last verse — where he sings about himself) he busted out. He completely stopped the song and yelled “I can’t stand these fucking frat guys crushing everyone’s neck. Here we are having a perfectly good time, and then you have a fucking guy crushing your neck!” then he got off the mic and started pointing his finger and shouting at someone in the audience. I think he said “fuck” more than that.. he said it like 5 or 6 times. I’ve never heard Jack White curse!



i still love sondre!