You know it’s wrong when… You start covering yourself. Noel Gallagher, take note.

Also- Tom and Paul from ArtRocker are totally in the new FACE w/ Culkin on the cover (M, not K). So’s Jack White without a shirt. It’s tiny. I mean the picture is. Don’t pop a fit or anything.

Whirlwind Heat @ CBGB’s Downstairs was great! I missed them when they opened for the White Stripes in April, so it was long overdue. Wearing black and white Twiggy t-shirts, black pants, and white shoes, they were totally stylin’. Lead singer David Swanson is basically out of control, screaming into the mic, rolling on the floor, jumping couches and tying bassist Steve Damstra’s shoelaces together mid-song. “Decal on My Sticker” is better live than it is recorded! That bass line! Phew!

The crowd was sprinkled with people you might’ve recognized. (The first thought running through my head outside CB’s was, “Hahahah. Right now there are 10, 000 NME-reading British kids who’d crap their pants.”) You figure out on your own who may or may not have been there. I mean really, where WERE you anyway? You should’ve come. We missed you. I tried calling you, but you weren’t picking up your phone. Were you still at Beck?

Bringing the show to a grand finale was The Soledad Brothers. No less than fantastic of course. Johnny Walker was all about running his guitar along the metal posts to produce radical noise. And radical noise is what it’s all about, right? How about radical noise with a blue plastic-handled comb? What about radical noise produced by hump-like (yeah, I just used the word (?) hump-like. Deal.) motions? As Hoggboy would say, “yeah man!” (except I say it without that British accent thing).

I also saw The Agenda and that other band whose name I’ll look up later.

Dude- my eyes are fucking burning and I’m really tired. I’m gonna feel/look like S-H-I-T tonight… but I’m still BEN SWANK AND LOVIN’ IT!

I LOVE WHIRLWIND HEAT!

I steal from Pollstar.

DANGER! DANGER! HIGH VOLTAGE!

CMJ Insanity to begin. Forgive me if I don’t update… and don’t be surprised if I do. You know me, completely obsessive.

Can I marry Chris Martin?

Speaking of marriage… because of stupid CMJ I’m totally missing The Bachelor tonight! And he’s MEETING THE PARENTS! I’ll make you a deal: you tell me what happens on The Bachelor and I’ll tell you what happens at the shows I’m going to. (I’m too stupid to work the VCR… or too lazy.)

Ryan Adams on Leno last night? I’m sorry, the man is still cute.

Haven do a free thing at Virgin Megastore Union Square Thursday at 7pm.

Yeah, that’s the hottness.

The Hives blaze a Scandinavian trail and all we get is a band named “The Flaming Sideburns.”

Dude… this list is WACK! I mean it’s just kinda silly, isn’t it? It makes no sense. NME DECLARES JACK WHITE COOLEST PERSON IN ROCK ‘N’ ROLL. I don’t even know why I bother promoting stupid crap like this. The NME is retarded. The “50 Coolest People in Rock”? Puuuulleasse! That’s lameass. If you buy this issue, you’re officially a big fucking loser.

I now have the “Sk8r Boi” mp3. So you don’t have to send it over anymore.

Eminem Cuts Across Racial Lines.

Bjork: “In England they think I’m one of the Teletubbies.”

Sophie Elis-Bextor: The Posh Princess of Pop.