Ryan Adams: So Uncool He’s Cool

Ryan Adams on Leno right now. He’s wearing sunglasses indoors… who does he think he is? Elton John? Oh wait…

Too many American flags. Dweeb. (When was the last time you used that word? Great word!)

Oh shit.. he ISN’T? Is he? Oh he IS. He’s wearing a Bruce Springsteen t-shirt.

AHAHAHAhaha. Leno struts over to the stage- Adams looks like a kid who just killed a bunny on Easter. He’s giddy. Leno grabs Adams’ right hand and squeezes it and says, “Thank you!” Adams screams out, “OWW!!!” Then we remember, Ryan Adams broke his hand mysteriously falling down some steps… or like it has previously been suggested on this page, it was broken in a failed attempt to dislodge the big stick up his *ahem*.

Leno giggles his stupid Leno giggle and as they fade to commercial, the faint sounds of “We love you Ryan…” can be heard, subtly, but surely inducing vomiting across the country… although the vomiting will be staggered for a few hours for our Central/Pacific friends.

Now they are talking to Adams. He’s still wearing the shades from the ’70s, he seems drunk. Why are they talking for so long? He’s telling about how he never has time to resole his shoes and that’s the reason why he made like a dumba** and broke his hand.

The girls just screamed for Adams again. They will be put to death by my special “phazer.”

You need some Sigur Ros right now to balance out all that Adams talk. Sorry.

Jenn just told me, at the JJ72 show tonight, The Sheila Devine opened and came on stage and said, “Hi, we’re The Sheila Divine and we know The Strokes.” ::rolls eyes::

I’m giving up. Ryan Adams is so uncool, he’s cool now. I enjoy the idiocy. I’m going to the other side. Can’t fight any more. Just too tired.